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Posts tagged ‘desserts’

We Drop The Ball On The Water Buffalo Situation And Eat A Coconut Lemonade Loaf

Our electricity bill for February was obscene.

It may have something to do with the “heat-o-lator,” which is this thing that blows hot air at me when I get out of the shower.  I love it.  It makes me forget that the tile is cold and I grabbed the wrong towel and now I smell like the dog.

Whatever the electricity drain was, it cost $300.  Three hundred dollars.  For that kind of money, we could have bought a water buffalo, a flock of ducks and some honeybees for someone in need.

So I asked Scott to seduce the utilities lady investigate our bill.

He was not cooperative, as you can tell from our conversation in the parking lot of the utilities building:

SCOTT:     I’m not going to flatter the utilities lady into reducing our bill.  She’s a public employee.

ME:    So?  She’s not elected.  It’s not illegal to flirt with her.

SCOTT:     . . . .

ME:      Just make sure you proposition her in code.

SCOTT:     . . . .

ME:     Don’t put anything in writing.

SCOTT:     . . . . .

ME:    Dude, at least explain to her that the children need water buffalos.

SCOTT:     Buffalo.  The plural of water buffalo is water buffalo.

ME:     Perfect.  Lead with that.  The children need a water buffalo.

SCOTT:     I’m getting out of the car now.

ME:     Good.  I’ll keep it running in case we need to make a quick get-away.

SCOTT:     That’s. . . not necessary.

ME:    Go.  I forgive you in advance for what you’re about to do.

[2 minutes later]

ME:     Why are you back so soon?  What happened?

SCOTT:     Well, I paid our bill, for one.


SCOTT:     And she said we should consider a space heater.

So that’s why Scott got a space heater.  Because his new girlfriend mentioned it and apparently he listens to everything she says. 

He put the space heater in the middle of our living room, where it blows hot air at my face all day while I type.  This glues my contacts to my eyeballs, which will probably give me glaucoma or at least pinkeye.

I may be wearing an eye patch by summer, but it’s okay.  Guess what I’m looking forward to this July?

The day I go back to the utilities department, debate a $300 air conditioning bill with Scott’s girlfriend, win, and buy water buffalos for everyone.

I made this summery cake in honor of that day.

I started with a basic loaf cake made with yogurt, and I threw in some lemon peel and lemon essence, flaked coconut, chopped white chocolate, and even some lemonade.

It bursts with lemony flavor.   The white chocolate adds a sweetness that makes lemon icing unnecessary.

Come summertime, this will make a great cake to bring on a picnic or to a barbecue.  For now, it’s my breakfast and 4 o’clock snack cake.

Coconut Lemonade Loaf  {Download & Print Recipe}

(Inspired by a recipe for a mocha breakfast loaf in Breakfasts & Brunches: Cooking With Bon Appetit)


2 c. flour

2 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. baking soda

1/4 tsp. salt

2 eggs, at room temperature

1/4 tsp. cream of tartar

3/4 c. sugar

1/2 c. butter (1 stick), at room temperature

4 tsp. lemon peel (from two large lemons), finely chopped

2 tsp. lemon extract

1/4 c. strong lemonade (such as instant mix, mixed with 1/4 c. water)

2/3 c. plain yogurt

2/3 c. moist, sweetened coconut flakes

3/4 c. white chocolate chunks (such as from 1 4-oz. bar, roughly chopped) (optional)


Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease a 9″ x 5″ loaf pan or two smaller loaf pans.  Line bottom and sides of pan(s) with parchment paper.

Mix flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a bowl and set aside.

Separate the eggs into a bowl for a whites and a bowl for the yolks.

In the electric mixer bowl, beat the egg whites on medium until they’re foamy.  Add the cream of tartar and 1/4 c. of the sugar and beat until the whites are stiff and glossy.  Transfer to another bowl and set aside.

You do not need to wash out the electric mixer bowl.  In it place the remaining 1/2 c. sugar, the egg yolks, the butter, the lemon peel, and the lemon extract.  Beat on medium until light and fluffy.

Reduce speed to low and add the flour mixture, yogurt and lemonade alternately, beating until just blended.  Stir in 1/3 of the beaten egg whites.  Fold in the remaining egg whites.

Fold in the white chocolate (if desired) and the coconut.

Transfer batter to the prepared pan(s).  Bake until a tester inserted into the center comes out clean, 50-60 minutes.

Cool for 10 minutes in the pan(s), then remove, discard parchment paper, and let cool on a wire rack.


See this duck toy?  The one Thunder’s looking at while her eyes get blasted by the space heater?

I want to kiss the designer of this toy on the mouth.

Because this duck is sturdy as hell.

It’s been 2 weeks and it still has all its eyes, wings, beaks, feet and stuffing.

This makes me so happy that I just want to sit under the heat-o-later with a martini and enjoy life.

P.S.  Speaking of enjoying life: It’s probably illegal to do 80% of the things mentioned here, including proposition public officials, loiter in parking lots, and attempt to make out with dog-toy designers without asking first.  Just sayin’.