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Home Range

If you’re a dog, getting sprayed by a skunk probably isn’t a big deal.  But if you’re a dog owner and it’s 2 in the morning and this is the second time this week, well. . . you might find yourself standing at the kitchen sink in your pajamas yelling WHY GOD, WHY at the ceiling.

Seymour got sprayed in the face this time, probably because he’s been chasing the skunk around like it’s giving away free pizza.  We didn’t see it happen but we could tell he got blitzed on the head because when he came inside he started rubbing his ears with his paws.  Then he shoved his face into the couch cushions.  Then he smooshed his nose to the wall and ran down the hallway like he was snorting a fabulous 20-foot line of cocaine.

Scott corralled him into the bathtub while I mixed together hydrogen peroxide and baking soda.  Last time we dumped the mixture all over him, but since his face was ground zero this time we had to worry about getting it in his eyes.  We basically had to dribble it onto his nose and ears and rub it in with our fingertips, like we worked at an upscale spa and Seymour had a Groupon for a facial.  He didn’t look the least bit remorseful while we worked.  He just sat there patiently with his eyes closed, probably thinking to himself that if we spent a little extra time massaging his ears, he’d give us a good review on Yelp.

popsicles 1I read the Wikipedia page for skunks this morning, and it does not bode well.  The skunk is not going to migrate to Florida for the winter like I was hoping.

popsicles 2In fact, it’s not going anywhere.  Skunks have “home ranges,” apparently.  They pick a spot .7 miles wide and stay there, which means we probably haven’t smelled the last of it.

popsicles 3My home range has been within .7 feet of my refrigerator lately.  There’s just so much good stuff around right now–fresh corn and tomatoes, peaches, zucchini bread. . .

Popsicles. . .

popsicles 4I found some popsicle molds at that hardware store for a dollar last weekend and have been filling them up with juice.  I’ve also been throwing a gummy worm in there.  At the farmer’s market in our town in Alabama, there was a lady who sold great apple-flavored popsicles with gummy worms in them.  I used to slurp them while I sold goat cheese.

Here’s what you do to make an Apple Popsicle With A Worm In It:  Buy a can of frozen juice.  (I use apple-raspberry.)  Make a strong version of the juice.  Like, if it says to add 3 cans of water, just add 2.  Put a gummy worm in the mold and then fill it with the juice.  Freeze it until it’s ready.  Run the mold under warm water for 10 seconds if you have a hard time getting the pops out.

popsicle 5Eat one before your next skunking.

Seymour 9.6


27 Comments Post a comment
  1. The appropriate way to make popsicles is to mix fruit juice and vodka in a 9:1 ratio and hide them from the kids.

    September 6, 2014
  2. I think Seymour is 2.0’s spirit animal.

    September 6, 2014
  3. White vinegar is helpful with skunk smell. Not so much on the dog (though it won’t hurt) as on your walls and bathroom tile. It’s much easier to use than other remedies because you needn’t mix anything. We found the usual remedies not very helpful. Probably best to just have another popsicle and wait it out.

    September 6, 2014
  4. Stephbo #

    Oh, Seymour. The things we put up with because we love our four-legged kids.

    September 6, 2014
  5. Cindy Rogers #

    What about the tomato juice?

    September 6, 2014
  6. Ol’ Seymore’s a slow learner, eh? Also, thank you for introducing me the the religion of Ceilingology. It sounds fulfilling and all-covering. Are ice pops like communion? Also, you and your sumilies are as funny as… something… really… funny. . .

    September 6, 2014
  7. Why is anyone outside at that time of the morning???

    September 6, 2014
    • You know why? Because THUNDER. Every once in a while, Thunder refuses to go outside and pee when the rest of us are gearing up for bed. What winds up happening is that she wakes up at 2 am and is like “NOW I’M READY. GET UP. GET UUUUP!” That’s why we were out there at 2 am. Sigh.

      September 7, 2014
      • Mom just walks us saying just pee and we will go back inside, until we do. You are very good parents.

        September 7, 2014
      • Hmm…maybe nobody really had to tinkle that bad – maybe they just hear the skunk moving about. We had this same problem, but not with our dog, but with a cat that just had to roam…he was taken in by me, nursed back to health, but we just couldn’t ever seem to cure him of his wanderlust…

        When we moved and had a garage sale, and I can’t tell you how many people were surprised to find he was our cat – it seems he had been mooching food off all the neighbors. One said they put out a can of food for him after dinner every night. Another left dry cat food in a dish and so on.

        I’m sure the skunks were eating all this, too!

        Somehow, the cat always seemed to set off the neighborhood skunks right under our open bedroom window!

        September 7, 2014
  8. Gummy worms in popsicles — I love it! Sorry to hear about your skunk troubles. That sounds like the WORST. Too bad there’s not an easy way to pack the skunk into your car for a little road trip to convince it to take its home range elsewhere…

    September 6, 2014
  9. You’ll have to let us know how the dog’s Yelp review turns out! I’m sure you’re hoping for five stars.

    September 6, 2014
  10. The skunk sounds terrible but the popsicles sound kind of amazing. I’m going to blow my kids’ minds.

    September 6, 2014
  11. I think we have a Pepe Le Pew situation. Simply explain to Seymour that the skunk is not, definitely not, no matter how many times he checks, a cat for chasing OR an interesting kind of dog to be friends with. That ougtha do the trick.

    September 7, 2014
  12. Sigh. I always feared Seymour was missing a few kibble in his bag. I imagine him answering this existential question: How many sprays does it take to make skunk-prey unappealing? Seymour: “Popsicle!”

    September 7, 2014
  13. I find that home range rather small. What concerns me most is what if there’s a Mrs. Skunk? This does not bode well for the future. Off to buy stock in Arm and Hammer. Sadly, I have given all my popsicle moulds away because those gummy worms are a fine idea.

    September 7, 2014
  14. Monica K #

    When I was 8 or 9, my mom had a run in with a skunk. She remembered during the 2am ish skunk witching hour that she forgot to close the chicken coop door. She got up, walked past a critter with glowing eyes that surely must have been a cat, closed to coop door and as she was walking back to the house got sprayed. Oh the stench! Tomato bath didn’t help. It was mortifying to me as she was my bus driver and the school bus was so skunky for the next several days.

    September 7, 2014
  15. SKUNKS. They are the worst things ever. Well, okay: wasps…wasps are probably the worst things ever because even their bodies look hostile. Also possums, because gross.

    But skunks! thankfully, we don’t seem to have too many skunks around the house, although my dog is super lazy so he wouldn’t bother chasing one anyway.

    “i found these popsicle molds at the hardware store…” YYYYEEEEESSS.

    September 8, 2014
  16. Emilie #

    Our dog has sniffed the butts of several skunks in his life (and will probably continue to do so, I suspect), and we currently also have a resident skunk (only one spraying so far in our last two weeks, though!). We know he sniffs their butts because he never gets sprayed anywhere besides his face. We swear by Downy Ultra–you don’t have to mix anything, and you can easily carry it around in the car for park skunk emergencies. I think it does a way better job of the initial deskunking than either hydrogen peroxide or tomato juice, plus it is nice and thick, so a little easier to work into the face area. You’ll still want to follow up with a regular bath at a non-2 am hour….good luck!

    September 8, 2014
  17. a #

    I suspect that, unless you’ve moved to the country, you could call your local animal control to come out and set traps for your skunk. We had to do that for raccoons (it was actually the village code enforcement person that got stuck with it). Meanwhile, I’m sorry to hear that Seymour thinks skunks are good for following. 😦

    September 9, 2014
  18. jenny_o #

    Oh, nooo – this makes for good reading but a terrible real-life situation. There is nothing quite like skunk stink. Good luck, and I’d also suggest what “a”, above, commented about animal control.

    September 10, 2014
  19. Aw, poor dog (it was his own fault, but can you blame that face?). I like gummy things (gummy vitamins are the best!), but often not in other things, but the popsicles sound good. I’ll have to try them before it gets too cold.

    September 26, 2014
  20. Aw, poor dog (it was his own fault, but can you blame that face?). I like gummy things (gummy vitamins are the best!), but often not in other things, but the popsicles sound good. I’ll have to try them before it gets too cold.

    September 26, 2014
  21. deliciouscityliving #

    What a great idea!

    October 25, 2014

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