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Resultada del test

I could tell you wedding stories until the cows come home, but there’s something else we need to discuss.  The wedding wasn’t the only thing I had going on this summer.  There’s another reason I was radio silent for eight weeks.

This happened.

Finding OutThese are pregnancy tests.  Specifically, one is a pregnancy test I found in a box at the back of the linen closet when we were moving out of our old house and which I took on a whim–because I was sick of packing and wedding planning, and peeing on a stick seemed like a nice, even relaxing alternative. The other two I got at the drugstore after the first one turned positive–or possibly positive. I wasn’t sure because I was too shocked to read the instructions properly.  The booklet was open to the Spanish part and I don’t speak Spanish.  I was too stunned to flip to the English part so I just sat there and convinced myself that the resultada del test was no valido because I hadn’t gotten enough orina on the stick.

The result was valido, though, because I took two more tests and they were positive.  So I speed-walked around the block a few times saying “holy shit!” and trying to breathe, and then Scott got home from work and I poured him a drink and showed him my little bouquet of pregnancy tests and we freaked out and took this picture.

The funny thing is, we’d been talking about whether and when to start trying to have a baby, and I must have been pregnant the whole time and just not known it.  This level of disorganization is becoming standard operating procedure around here.

I’m 14 weeks along now and doing great!  We’re both really excited.  My belly is popping out a little.  We haven’t found out if it’s a boy or a girl, but that information exists on a piece of paper at the doctor’s office, which totally fries my mind.  We had an ultrasound today and Scott thinks he saw a penis, but he also thinks he saw Bono at a grocery store in Alabama once, so I have my doubts.

Now that we’ve had time to adjust to the pregnancy, I have a couple things to say.

The world is full–and I mean full–of books and articles that will congratulate you and tell you that being pregnant is the happiest, most exciting thing.  Now that I’m in the second trimester, I am indeed happy and excited.  But the first few months were nothing like that for me.

If you had asked me the day before I took the test whether I wanted to have a baby, I would have said yes, definitely.  I wasn’t upset to find out that I was pregnant; I was thrilled.  But as soon as I knew, I became paralyzed with the fear that I would have a miscarriage.  I have a lot of friends who have had miscarriages.  A lot.  Many of them have miscarried multiple times.  Knowing that a miscarriage was a non-remote possibility, I just couldn’t get excited.  I’m not a negative person, but I’m logical and more grounded by science and statistics than I am uplifted by the cooing babble of the pregnancy books (e.g., “Excitement is growing along with that uterus of yours!  Your soon-to-be baby has started its miraculous transformation from single cell to fully formed boy or girl ready for cuddles and kisses!”).  There’s nothing wrong with these sentiments; they just don’t reflect the way I felt at all.  I was scared that my body would backfire, or had already backfired, and that I’d find out after I’d told my friends and family the good news.

So I didn’t tell anyone, and that made me feel isolated.

The only thing I could do in private was (1) read up on pregnancy; and (2) go to the doctor.  The pregnancy books were a little nerve-wracking because for the first two months I didn’t feel any of the symptoms they said I could expect to feel, like sore boobs, nausea, and fatigue.  Going to the doctor was exciting, but I didn’t click with the doctor I’d been referred to.  She didn’t have time to answer any of my questions, including basic questions about genetic testing.  I was 10 weeks pregnant, which is a great time to start thinking about one test in particular, and if it hadn’t been for a doctor in a different practice, I would have missed the window for the test entirely.  I don’t mind advocating for myself, but I was taken aback by how assertive and persistent I had to be in order to get the quality of care that I expected.

What it comes down to is this: I figured pregnancy would complicate certain things. I wasn’t surprised when the job interview I had recently got a little awkward.  I wasn’t surprised when my wedding dress didn’t fit, or when Scott and I started worrying about money and where to live.  That stuff didn’t take me by surprise.  What blindsided me was the sense of isolation, the feeling that time had slowed to a nearly imperceptible crawl, and the constant fear that the pregnancy wouldn’t stick.  Hopefully my experience isn’t common, but regardless–nothing I’d read prepared me for it; that’s why I’m writing it here.

Now that things have been chugging along for awhile, I’m feeling confident and excited. Truly, I am!  I know the baby’s growing like a crazy little weed.  I know Scott will hold my hand and make me laugh through all of this.  And now I even know a little bit of Spanish.

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116 Comments Post a comment
  1. felicitaciones! Now go eat a cheeseburger!

    August 15, 2014
    • Debbie: nutella and cheddar grilled cheese at the Wisconsin state fair last weekend. AMAZING.

      August 15, 2014
    • Janie #

      Congratulations!! I am now 18 weeks pregnant and have felt the same fear/terror since I found out.

      August 15, 2014
      • Congrats Janie! So, maybe you have thoughts on this: I was talking to some friends who said that their fear subsided a little during the second trimester but only until they felt the baby kicking. Then, as exciting as that was at first, they started worrying whenever it wasn’t kicking. Ack! I guess I have that to look forward to, too, eh?

        August 15, 2014
        • Meredith #

          I know that feeling…it’s not for everyone, but I got a sonoline doppler and I would listen to the baby’s heartbeat when I knew I was overreacting and just wanted some reassurance. And also when I just felt like listening to him 😉 Congratulations!

          August 15, 2014
  2. What an amazing time to start following your blog! Wedding and baby! Congratulations and all the best!

    August 15, 2014
    • Hi, Noemie! Thanks for the kind words. And yeah–a lot is going on around here! It’ll probably get super boring from here on out. 🙂

      August 15, 2014
  3. CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN! Wow! What do Thunder and Seymour think about this?

    (By the way, what you describe is pretty much what I expect to feel, when and if that ever occurs. In fact, I had gotten a little… let’s just say *suspicious*… a few weeks ago and took a test myself and in the few minutes that I was waiting for it to bake, I had myself convinced that I *was* pregnant and had commenced to start to feel these things that you describe. As it turns out, no miraculous cell division after all. But I fully expect it to be a baffling mixture of excitement and happiness and isolation and fear. Huzzah!)

    August 15, 2014
    • Oh Lordy. Isn’t waiting for the test to bake the craziest thing? I’ve taken a few negative ones in my day, and every time I’ve done exactly as you did–sort of prepared myself for it to be positive so that I wouldn’t pass out if it was. Thunder and Seymour so far seem okay with it, except that Seymour probably doesn’t appreciate being pushed away whenever he jumps up and hits my boobs (they hurt!). One of my friends posted something on facebook the other day saying that her dog had passed away and that they had never been friends except for during her pregnancy, when all of a sudden the dog followed her everywhere and cuddled with her. Isn’t that weird? Thankfully, these guys are pretty solicitous under normal circumstances, so I can’t tell a difference. 🙂

      August 15, 2014
  4. Wow! Congratulations!

    August 15, 2014
    • Thank you, Patricia! I can’t believe it!

      August 15, 2014
      • And your reaction wasn’t completely strange. You want to tell the whole world, but then don’t want to tell anyone yet because of the fear of losing the baby, and then you sit, just agonizingly waiting for the day when you can feel a little more at ease about it all. We told everyone after about a month in becasue I just couldn’t take it anymore, and then I had a little scare. It all turned out well, but at that moment I wondered about the wisdom of sharing with everyone. The first trimester seems to take forever – the rest of the time speeds by until you hit about the last 4-6 weeks. Then it slows down again.

        August 15, 2014
  5. I was terrified for the first few months when I was pregnant for the second time. I had a scare at nine weeks, and that just made it worse. I know many friends who felt the same way – so I guess that could be considered “normal” too. Best of luck with the rest of the pregnancy. Super excited for you!

    August 15, 2014
    • Thank you, Eliesa! And thanks for the words about how you felt. It’s good to know that my reaction wasn’t completely out there. How old are your kids now? If you have any advice, I am all ears. 🙂

      August 15, 2014
  6. Aaah! Congratulations! You know, I’ve never been pregnant, so I really can’t say, but I *feel* like if I got pregnant I would definitely isolate myself for awhile. I imagine there would be many more emotions going on than just the “happy-happy-happy!” ones. Having a baby is a complicated (but wonderful) thing, so I think I’d probably just be quietly freaking out on the inside for the first couple months. Anyway, I’m glad you’ve gotten past the freak-out stage and on to the excitement stage. Congrats congrats congrats! 🙂

    August 15, 2014
    • Willow, you know what I want? A pregnancy book that has a lot of science in it. I watched a video on some website–maybe What To Expect When You’re Expecting–entitled something like “The details of how your food gets digested and shared with the fetus” and in it, the narrator went “When you eat food, it gets digested and shared with the fetus.” The end. I kid you not. It’s infuriating how most resources seem geared to the idea of a woman who just wants to go out and buy bows and eat chocolate. Also, the books basically advocate going on a low-fat diet–low fat cheese, low fat yogurt, frozen yogurt instead of ice cream–all sorts of stuff that tastes gross and has a lot of sugar and additives in it instead of just good old natural foods. It’s WEIRD.

      August 15, 2014
  7. Men always think they see a penis on the ultrasound. 50% of the time it’s just a foot. 🙂 Congrats you guys!

    August 15, 2014
    • Thanks, Liene! I of course think it’s a girl because I *didn’t* see anything, but I guess we’ll find out soon enough! I’m not itching for one over the other, so I don’t mind waiting. It’s kind of fun.

      August 15, 2014
      • With this current pregnancy my husband promised me a girl (after two boys and I’m holding him to it!). He threatened to take a class on reading ultrasounds…

        August 15, 2014
  8. Most wonderful news! So very excited for y’all. I have definitely had a lot of the feelings you describe. I experienced tons of fear and anxiety with my first pregnancy, to a lesser extent with my second and third, and after three healthy pregnancies, hardly any fear or anxiety at all with my fourth pregnancy. And that was the first time I experienced a loss. Fifth pregnancy, I was hopeful, but totally tuned into the possibility of loss, and that was indeed what resulted. With my sixth (and current) pregnancy, I felt like it was doomed from the start, which was backed up by a lot of symptomatic evidence and even an ultrasound and diagnosis by the OB. And here I sit, at 33 weeks, waiting to deliver a healthy baby boy. I guess what I’ve learned is that you just never know. It is the creation of new life, a mysterious and miraculous thing that doesn’t always go the way we would expect or the way we would hope. But to me, the pregnancy is ALWAYS happy news, regardless of how it eventually ends. Embracing that idea and sharing freely with friends and family both the happy news and the sad news has kept me from ever feeling isolated. I’ve always known that if I were to endure a loss, I would want to share *that* with those I love, so why not share from the beginning? A lot of people are more private than I am, but for me, that was helpful. Sending lots of love to you and baby!

    August 15, 2014
    • Elizabeth, you don’t know it but you have been a role model for me. I think about your experiences all the time, and I think about where you sit now, and what you’ve been through, and how you’ve handled it with such grace, and how you have shared it all with us. Reading your writing has made me stronger and more thoughtful and more excited than ever. I don’t think I would have written this post had I not previously read your posts about pregnancy and family. I am so grateful that you wrote them. And I am so excited for you!!!!! So soon! So soon!

      August 15, 2014
  9. Congratulations! Under all the smiles and tummy rubbing I think most women have a certain level of fear when they first become pregnant! I’ve had 2 children (18 & 14 now) and although I loved both my pregnancies, I was scared and nervous and had all the worries every prego woman has about making through the first trimester and then having enough money, enough room, etc.

    August 15, 2014
    • Angie, thanks for writing this. I am starting to totally love being pregnant. It’s so much fun! But yeah–I didn’t expect the first trimester fears to hit me as hard as they did.

      August 15, 2014
  10. Christi #

    I had a blissfully ignorant first pregnancy then trouble conceiving the second time years later. When I finally got pregnant 8 years later for the second time, I was a bundle of nerves the entire time waiting for a problem that never happened because I was considered “Advanced Maternal Age”, or “AMA” as they like to write all over your charts. Both ended in perfectly healthy, great kids, now 16 and 7.5 years old. I believe some caution is healthy (you know, like probably don’t take up rock climbing right now, do eat your veggies, etc.) so long as you don’t let it overtake your life and enjoyment of the moment. Just the same as being a parent – you don’t want your kids to get hurt, but you have to let them try new things and test their limits. You’re going to be a great mom! I’m so excited for you 🙂

    August 15, 2014
    • Thank you for writing this, Christi. I thought for sure I would have trouble conceiving (not sure why I thought that–I guess I internalized the struggles some of my friends have had) so I was shocked when it happened so quickly. I guess you just never know what will happen, right? Could be easy, could be hard. It’s just weird not knowing what’s going on inside your body. It’s definitely an interesting experience for someone like me, who likes controlling things and having lots of information.

      August 15, 2014
  11. Amy #

    YAY!!!!! I’m so so so so excited for you, Katherine! That’s so crazy that you just took the test for the heck of it and it was positive 🙂 I think the fear of miscarriage must be something every pregnant woman goes through. Every little ache and pain I had those first 12 weeks I was SURE was a sign of an ectopic pregnancy. I totally called the doc after one such incident. But I’m so glad you’ve made it to week 14 and are doing well…and hopefully getting some energy back. Can’t wait to hear about and see your pregnancy advance- i hope you’ll post some cute belly pics! SO MANY EXCITING THINGS GOING ON FOR YOU GUYS RIGHT NOW!!

    August 15, 2014
    • I was like, “I could pack this test in a box and move it to the new house, or I could take it because I’m late, even though I’m sure that’s just because my body is used to being on birth control pills, and then that way it’s one less thing I have to carry to the new house!”

      Aaaaaand here we are. Yeah, at the 7 or 8 week appointment they did an ultrasound because I didn’t know when we had conceived, and I appreciated that because up until then I kept thinking BUT IT MIGHT NOT EVEN HAVE MADE IT TO MY UTERUS AT ALL. Thankfully we saw the little jelly bean in there and I could switch my focus to other, related neuroses. 🙂

      August 15, 2014
      • Joy #

        I remember when I had my first “well woman” exam at 17 that the doctor said the first month after going off birth control is the most fertile you’re likely to ever be. Not sure how true this is but I’ve held on to this fact for a number of years.

        August 15, 2014
        • This is the kind of quality information that must have gone in one ear and out the other. Of course, at 17 I would have been like “EW. GROSS. BOYS.” and promptly forgotten it.

          August 15, 2014
  12. Nessa Coppinger #

    So excited for you! I felt exactly the same terror. I had tons of really strong pregnancy symptoms during my first trimest and I STILL was constantly terrified that it wasn’t going to stick. Also, I have a very science based book that I think you would love. I’ll try to dig it up (it’s in a box somewhere from our move from Denver to DC). I’ll send you the name if I find it. I think it is just what you’re looking for. Oh, and I felt MUCH more relieved once I felt the kicking. Of course, Sloane kicked pretty much nonstop. There were definitely times where she was quiet and it still was just so much more reassuring because it was easy to know she was ok in there. I could just drink juice or start moving around and she’d get going. You’re past the scariest part!

    August 15, 2014
    • This is awesome. I definitely had peanut butter on graham crackers before the ultrasound yesterday in the hopes that the wee thing would move around and WOAH. It was bopping around in there like it was at a rock concert. At one point it raised its hand straight up as if to say hi, and we saw all the little bones in there. And then it put its thumb in its mouth! It was phenomenal. Such a high. I will totally get that book if you remember the title. And one of my friends just told me to get “The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy.”

      I love seeing pictures of Sloane on facebook. She seems amazing and I hope I get to meet her!

      August 15, 2014
  13. Lynne #

    We are so excited for you both!! Babies are wonderful additions to a loving couple like you two!

    August 15, 2014
    • Aw, thanks Lynne!! On the one hand, I am (of course) unprepared and have no idea what’s going on. On the other hand, I know that Scott is going to be AMAZING at this. He’s goofy and funny and loving. I can’t wait to see him be a dad!

      August 15, 2014
  14. Congratulations! Wishing you all the best!

    August 15, 2014
  15. Congrats! What an exciting/busy time for you.

    August 15, 2014
    • Dude. Yeah. When we found this out we were also moving, and I was applying for jobs, and we were planning the wedding, and the honeymoon, and for a while there I thought I was going to go off the deep end. Things have calmed down now. Whew!

      August 15, 2014
  16. a #

    Congratulations! What wonderful news! Anecdotally, you can tell boys from girls because boys like to let it all hang out where girls like to keep their legs crossed. But you never know. And penises and umbilical cords look similar in pixels. Also, 14 weeks is extremely early for a visual. Good luck on your major life changes!

    And now for some useless advice: Don’t ever let the fear keep you from sharing with someone (unless you’re an anti-social nutjob like me), even if it’s only one person besides your husband. Because if the worst were to happen, it’s good to have someone slightly removed (i.e. not your husband) to hold your hand and help you through. Choose wisely, though – everyone, even those with experience, is prone to saying the wrong thing. 🙂

    August 15, 2014
    • These are, indeed, such wise words. I totally feel that you are right. I know exactly what you mean–sometimes it’s good to get support from someone who isn’t that close to the action. I will be sure not to keep any fears bottled up inside for too long.

      Interesting about the girls crossing legs!! I think this little ones’ legs were open. But I’m not sure. We figured we wouldn’t see anything at 14 weeks (it’s little “parts” are just starting to manifest themselves just a little, right?) but we were just kind of hoping we’d catch a glimmer. We totally didn’t, but it was fun.

      August 15, 2014
      • 1st daughter had her legs crossed, but at the ankles. They moved around to the anterior view to measure her legs, and I totally knew she was a she before the tech said anything, ’cause everything was right in view. She’s much more bashful now that she’s 13.

        August 15, 2014
  17. Congratulations again – you are determined to take on most of life’s most stressful things all at one LOL Moving, weddings and pregnancy oh my! It is not weird to feel alone or scared. I miscarried my first pregnancy after excitedly telling everyone and that was devastating so my second one I was a nervous wreck till pretty much 6 months in and everything was totally fine. Anyway I am happy you are relaxing into it now – enjoy because life as you know it is over. An exciting new chapter begins soon 🙂

    August 15, 2014
    • Wheee!! Yeah, I told Scott we had to remember to do something fun this weekend because we won’t always get to gallavant around downtown Chicago without a care in the world.

      Thanks for the words about your experiences being pregnant. It feels good to know that the way I’ve been feeling doesn’t make me crazy neurotic, it just makes me someone who is dealing with uncertainty, right? Anyway, thanks.

      August 15, 2014
      • Right! You get to feel whatever way you feel, apologetically – blame it all on hormones 🙂
        Go to the art institute and anywhere else that will be tough to take a small child – luxuriate in it

        August 18, 2014
  18. Tina Quick #

    What a wonderful, honest blog!! I am SO excited for you & Scott (and also Thunder & Seymour too) to welcome in a new edition to the family 🙂 you’re gonna make a wonderful mother and I know you’ll look beautiful with a baby bump!!! Congrats!!!!! 🙂

    August 15, 2014
    • Tina, thank you! Can I tell you something? I love having a baby bump. It’s so much fun. The baby’s due in February, so in addition to getting big and uncomfortable, the weather’s going to get brutal around here and I’ll be all covered up in jackets and scarves, but for now it’s super fun having this new, crazy body that’s totally out of my control. Anyway, thank you again for the kind words. They mean a lot to me.

      August 15, 2014
  19. I can’t even. I actually teared up when I read this. I am so insanely happy for you. I think you guys will be the most amazing parents, and I can’t wait to see what sort of lovely person you have created together.

    Also, there is absolutely no reason to believe that Scott didn’t see Bono in an Alabama grocery store. I believe U2 played a gig in Birmingham in October 1992. Is it possible that this is when the spotting occurred?

    August 15, 2014
    • Did I ever tell you about the time I was in a grocery store in Manhattan and someone thought they saw the guy who says “My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” The person announced it to everyone in line and it was a FRENZY. Turned out we all lost our spots in line for a random dude buying oranges. Aaaanyway, thank you movita. This baby will someday be dropped off at your house with some cash and a teddy bear while Scott and I explore Nova Scotia. Cool? Probably not around Halloween-time. Too many knives lying about in your house.

      August 15, 2014
  20. Many congratulations! Here’s to a safe and easy rest of pregnancy and that the pups adjust well to having a small person about!

    August 15, 2014
    • Thanks, Lucy! Man, I don’t know what the pups will do. Thunder tends to sit at my feet and bark at me when she feels she has been ignored for over 6 minutes, but she also LOVES babies and toddlers and thinks they’re the most interesting thing in the world (while she knocks them down). Seymour is very protective of our houseguests when they come to visit–he sleeps in front of the guest room door. I’m thinking he’ll be the same way with a baby.

      August 15, 2014
  21. Mazel tov! That’s such wonderful news. Babies are so special. I had mine 3 weeks ago and up until the end I ran the gamut of emotions. So excited and amazed at what was going in inside me to petrified that something would happen and petrified that holy shit! A baby! Forever! Gah! After the first 13 weeks (I don’t do trimesters since you’re pregnant for more than 9 months and trimesters seem silly to me) we shared out news but I was still only cautiously optimistic. I had zero symptoms which convinced me something was wrong. I’d go to the dr for the normal appt and be soothed for about 2 weeks until the what ifs would crawl back inside my ears. It gets better once you feel the baby move for sure. If you’re ever worried that its not moving put a cold can of something on your belly and usually it’ll make the baby squirm. Emily Osters book “expecting better” isn’t so fluffy and It attempted to satisfy the bio nerd in me. Also Great with Child is a beautiful book to read. Not science-ey but beautiful. Good luck, and all the best with your new life changes! Can’t wait to read about them!

    August 15, 2014
    • Oh my gosh! How is it going?!?!

      It’s silly to ask. I imagine the LAST thing you have time for in the world is to answer that question. So let me just say thank you for the comment you left. I will think of you when I reach for a cold can of soda to put on my belly one day. And the book recommendations! Thank you! I will get them both.

      August 15, 2014
      • EJ, someone else just recommended the exact same books to me. I just ordered them. That’s what my other friend said–that Great With Child was her favorite book ever. She also recommended one that might interest you since (1) you and she apparently share the same taste in pregnancy books; and (2) this one is about the first year: Anne Lamott’s Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year.

        http://www.amazon.com/Operating-Instructions-Journal-Sons-First/dp/1400079098

        August 18, 2014
        • Thank you! Apologies it took me over a month to see this and reply. It’s going wonderfully over here – my 6lb14oz wee one is now an 11lb.5oz chunker. I love her so much and love beig her mom more than I thought I would. For me it’s been the best thing in the world. Thank you for the book recommendation – ill order it shortly. Beware – nighttime shopping while nursing/feeding is addict ing. Seriously, I ordered laundry soap just to avoid a trip to the grocery store. 🙂 hope things are going well and you’ve time to read those books!

          September 21, 2014
  22. Mary Corbett #

    Felications! So thrilled for you and Scott! I found being pregnant neither particularly happy, nor magical. I thought it was a lot like having a parasite (or two in my case) and I wanted to burn my copy of “What to Expect . . .” (and may have, not sure what happened to it). I’m glad that you made it through the isolation. So happy to be able to share this *magical* time with you 🙂

    August 15, 2014
  23. Stephbo #

    How random is that?!? I can’t imagine how shocked I would be for my whimsical pee experience to be positive. Congratulations!!

    August 15, 2014
  24. Congratulations, that’s fantastic! And as a doctor, may I just say your concerns sound totally reasonable. I’m glad everything is going OK.

    August 15, 2014
    • Thanks, Dr. Alice! I’m glad, too. That’s really what it comes down to with all of this– I’m just so glad things are going okay so far. There’s nothing I can do about the rest other than hang in there and be as happy as I can!

      August 15, 2014
  25. sue ellen #

    Wonderful !!! You and Scott are in for the greatest time of your lives !!!! And when that precious baby arrives the true love story shall begin !!!! ♥

    August 15, 2014
    • Aw! That’s fun to hear. I think it’s going to be great!!

      August 15, 2014
  26. Wow, congratulations!! Sounds like you’ve had a busy summer. I’m looking forward to reading more about your experiences as a mom-to-be, told (as always) with your awesome sense of humor 🙂

    August 15, 2014
    • Thank you, my dear CakePants! Yes, the Summer of 2014 is going down a a record-breaking nutty summer for SURE. I’m thinking it HAS to calm down this fall. If I hit another rite of passage I’m going to quit. QUIT, I tell you.

      August 15, 2014
  27. Katherine, I am so, so happy for you and Scott–congratulations! And may I say, that pregnancy only seems to have increased your humor hormones, because your writing is more witty and delightful than ever?

    Also, just ignore those What to Expect books. They’re alarmist on one hand and full of maddening cliches on the other. I have yet to see a good sciencey book about pregnancy written for a general readership. (Maybe a later project for you and Scott?)

    August 15, 2014
    • Awww, thanks Jennifer! It feels good to talk about all this, and then to get a lovely comment from you back just makes it even better. I wish I could find a science-y pregnancy book, too. I told Scott a few weeks ago that the books were frustrating, so he got out his old college biology book and we read the chapter on reproduction. I learned a lot about how earthworms and fruit flies do it. It wasn’t helpful in the slightest, but at least it was a change of pace! 🙂

      August 15, 2014
  28. Lisa K #

    Congratulations!!! I’ve been reading your wonderful blog for a couple of years now, though never post anything…so now I’m moved to write. I totally had the same experience of the 8-hr head start of “holy-crap I’m pregnant. Yay! I’m pregnant! holy-crap I’m pregnant” see-saw before my husband found out. Funny looking back on it. I’m happy you can share your news now and so sorry to hear you were very isolated before.
    With respect to science-y pregnancy resources you might look at Penny Simpkin’s book Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn. or http://www.pennysimpkin.com . Quite detailed, quite medical, but written for the general public. Evidence-based, with lack of bias (in my view) for or against any particular type of medical or non-medical management of delivery. At least, that was the case 10 years ago when I was pregnant with my son. Also, if you still have any genetics or genetic testing questions, feel free to reach out to a genetic counselor if you haven’t already. You can find one in your area by going to http://www.nsgc.org . All the best to you and Scott!!

    August 15, 2014
  29. Oops, it’s Penny Simkin (no ‘p’). http://www.pennysimkin.com

    August 15, 2014
  30. Massive congrats! ❤ The best news a person can share, imo 🙂 Best wishes to you x

    August 15, 2014
  31. Wow! So many good changes in your lives! X

    August 15, 2014
    • Right?!?! So many changes at once! Like ripping off a band-aid. Or putting one on. Or ripping off a hundred band-aids–I’m not sure what I mean. All of this change has left me a little turned around in circles!

      August 15, 2014
  32. Sara #

    I started crying when I read this. But that’s only because I too just found out that I’m pregnant,at five weeks and counting. I’m (obviously) slightly hormonal. And I too am TERRIFIED.I’m just shy of 40, and this will hopefully be my first child. But all I seem to read about right now is the odds of miscarriage at my age. We’ve been trying for almost a year, and when I got the positive test last week I went from elated to scared in the course of about a half an hour. Your insight about time slowing down to an imperceptible crawl is so spot on! I’ve only known for about ten days and I have every week between now and April 15 floating around in my head. So this really really hit home for me. So thank you for your continued humor and the little glimmer of hope you just gave me. In some way, it’s very random that I can tell a bunch of complete strangers on the internet something that I won’t dare even mention here at home. Except for my mom, because I live 5 minutes away from her and she practically knew before I did. How do moms do that anyway? Thanks again, congratulations, and I sincerely hope to be in your shoes in just nine short weeks… 🙂

    August 15, 2014
    • Oh Sara!!! Wow!!!

      First of all, 5.5 weeks is a long time in my book. I hated when I made an appointment and the receptionist and the sonographer said “oh, you’re still so early.” I wanted to shout “MY YESTERDAY WAS 80 HOURS LONG, LADY. AND DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THE DAY BEFORE WAS? 3 WEEKS.” It’s amazing how elastic time is when you feel this way, isn’t it?

      All I can say is that I hear you, sister, and that I’m thankful that you posted this. I, too, told a few random people, at the beginning– until the 11th week, and then I told my friends and family pretty much only because of the wedding and the fact that I hated being devious with not drinking. In those first weeks, I told the wedding dress seamstress, and the guy at Starbucks who forgot to make me a decaf (not that we can’t have a cup of coffee; I just try to drink decaf anyway, but this time I was like OH I’M PREGNANT, BETTER MAKE THAT A DECAF, basically at the top of my lungs.) The one upside to the isolation and, well, terror, is that the pregnancy became a very personal, intimate thing between me and Scott. It’s rare that we have a secret anywhere near this order of magnitude. We lead such sociable lives. And when we told our parents, then it became this secret that we had with them, and that, too, was special. That is, in retrospect, a silver lining that came out of that anxious time.

      If you ever want to chat with someone about how things are going, email me and I’ll send you my phone number and we will talk! I am excited for you AND I ache a little because I know how you feel. xo

      August 15, 2014
  33. Wow! This is incredibly exciting. Congratulations. I really appreciate what you wrote. I think I would be exactly the same way and it’s nice to hear someone be honest about it.

    August 15, 2014
    • Sara, thanks for the kind words. It’s nutty, but we’re plowing through it and having fun now.

      August 16, 2014
  34. christine #

    Oh my god – wedding AND successful stick pee! Best news all day, hon! I’m soooo excited for you! My lil gal, Poppy, is 12 weeks now – time will speed back up again, I promise!

    August 15, 2014
    • Oh my goodness, Christine! Congratulations on Poppy! That’s so exciting. What’s the one thing you’d tell a first-time pregnant lady, or a new mom? Lay your advice on me, woman!

      August 16, 2014
      • christine #

        Send me an email to chrisbovie @gmail . com and I’ll send you loadsa things I’d tell first time mamas! Xxx

        August 19, 2014
        • DONE. (Just sent it. Can’t wait to chat.)

          August 19, 2014
  35. Congratulations, very (long distance) happy for you. If you can’t find the book you want, maybe you should write it! It’d be funny as well as informative. 🙂

    August 15, 2014
    • Thank you, Linda! Man, it would be so fun to write a book. I wish I were a nurse so I knew what I was talking about when it came to pregnancy. I think I have a couple of good recommendations for books now–the lovely people here have dropped a few names of books that were helpful for them, which is awesome!

      August 16, 2014
  36. OMG SO MUCH CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

    August 15, 2014
    • Thank you Natalieeeeeee!!!!!!

      August 16, 2014
  37. There’s nothing more exhilarating or terrifying than your first pregnancy. I remember isolating myself for the first trimester so I wouldn’t inadvertently blurt out my news. You want to tell the world but there’s always that nagging fear that something might go wrong. I think everyone goes through it. Congratulations and enjoy your pregnancy. It’s such a special, special time. My children are all teenagers now and love to hear stories of ‘ when you were pregnant with me’ or ‘when I was born’. Enjoy the whole crazy ride, listen to your heart and don’t believe everything you read in those pregnancy books.

    August 15, 2014
    • Oh my friend, thank you for this. The other day I was wondering if my kid would ever care about the things I did when I was pregnant–if it would be curious about what a wild time this was. So hearing you say that yours get a kick out of your pregnancy/birth stories is neat.

      August 16, 2014
  38. Congratulations. May everything go well.

    August 15, 2014
  39. Congratulations, y’all! I am so excited for you! Can’t wait to hear more about the wedding and baby (And of course, Seymour and Thunder)!

    August 15, 2014
    • Thank you so much! I got a couple (well, 80) pictures back from the wedding but the photographer’s waiting on more, so I’m going to hold off on posting them. It was so fun. Kind of a double-whammy since we told people at the welcome party the night before the wedding that we were pregnant. What a crazy weekend that was!

      August 16, 2014
  40. jenny_o #

    Congratulations on your good news!

    August 15, 2014
    • Thank you so much, Jenny! It’s sinking in and I’m feeling good! And back to cooking. I didn’t cook AT ALL for probably 8 weeks–June and July. Any recommendations for recipes you like, now that I’m back at it?

      August 16, 2014
  41. fonda_web #

    Congratulations! I was one of those people who had multiple miscarriages; I completely understand the impulse to Not Tell. But it is good to have a few people who know so if something does happen, they are there for you. That was a few years ago, tho, and now my daughter is pregnant, and it sounds like your due date and hers are very close together. Enjoy the 2nd trimester, and everything beyond!

    August 15, 2014
    • Fonda, thanks for your note. What a lovely thing that your daughter is pregnant now. My due date is Feb. 10. I wish your daughter and I lived in the same place and could trade stories! Do let me know how she gets along.

      August 18, 2014
  42. I’m sorry you were lonesome in your worry. That’s a double whammy. But now that you’re telling, you can get lots of support and reality-checks. I know you’ll send Bono lots of good vibes and pie as you travel this road together.

    August 16, 2014
    • Sandy Sue, you raise a good issue: Bono is doing great with all of this. I think that with all the good vibes I’ve sent him in the past few weeks, his career is really taking off.

      August 18, 2014
  43. Sandra R #

    Congrats double!! Actually when I saw the picture I wondered if you both were somehow pregnant.
    I don’t know which is better, the tell everyone the minute you find out and then everyone is upset if a miscarriage happens, which happens 20-30% of the time, OR be silent and worried and excited until you get into the second trimester. I did it the first way for my first pregnancy and hated feeling like everyone was disappointed. (My heartbreak was unavoidable with either management approach.) I always waited to tell for the next 3 pregnancies. (One miscarried.) I have two grown kids now.
    Relax and enjoy being parents as much as possible. The Orangette blog sets a good tone.

    August 16, 2014
  44. Congrats on the mini eggton..haha, no pun intended..or maybe it was. 🙂 Either way congrats on the news, how exciting!!!

    August 16, 2014
    • Awwww! Maybe that’s what we’ll call it before we find out of it’s a boy or a girl. A mini eggton! Gender neutral. I like it.

      August 19, 2014
  45. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! WOW!!! You had an eventful summer!!! But this just brilliant!!! I completely understand your fear of not letting everyone know sooner…my sister went through the same thing!! But this is awesome!! Please take care of your health and have as much fun as possible!!Hugs!!

    August 16, 2014
    • Wooohoooo! Thank you so much. I’m starting to have so much fun with it.

      August 19, 2014
  46. Bex Miller #

    Congratulations!!! That’s wonderful news 🙂 I can definitely understand why you’ve been busy lately then 🙂 and lots of hope and wishes for the baby to keep growing and be healthy! xxx

    August 16, 2014
    • Thank you so very much, Bex!

      August 16, 2014
  47. I haven’t commented before, but am coming out of lurking to recommend my favorite science-y pregnancy book: What’s Going On in There by Lise Eliot – the only book I read while pregnant in 2006 that fed my curiosity and not my paranoia! Congratulations, too – I can honestly say that motherhood has brought me more joy than I ever expected, while also giving me a crash course in how to develop reserves of patience I never thought I could have. 🙂

    August 16, 2014
    • Merie, thank you so much. I just ordered the book you recommended. And thanks for the encouraging words on motherhood. What an adventure!

      August 16, 2014
  48. YES! Oh my gosh, CONGRATULATIONS, Katherine!!!! I’m so so thrilled for you and reading this post just made me so happy — though I’m sorry that you had to go through a period of isolation. We’re far away from that point but I can imagine how easy it would be to feel similarly. So glad that you’re feeling good now and wishing you two (three) all the best!!

    August 16, 2014
  49. How EXCITING – Congrats 🙂

    August 16, 2014
  50. How thrilling and wonderful! I’m sending my positive pee stick off to college in three days, and I would (almost!) give anything to go back to the beginning and do it all over again. What a time you will have…and they will have with you. Congratulations from the other side!

    August 18, 2014
    • Aaaawww! Hey, I just read a poem that you might like. I don’t want to make you sad, but I think it’s just beautiful:

      Helping My Daughter Move into Her First Apartment
      By Sue Ellen Thompson

      This is all I am to her now:
      a pair of legs in running shoes,

      two arms strung with braided wire.
      She heaves a carton sagging with CDs

      at me and I accept it gladly, lifting
      with my legs, not bending over,

      raising each foot high enough
      to clear the step. Fortunate to be

      of any use to her at all,
      I wrestle, stooped and single-handed,

      with her mattress in the stairwell,
      saying nothing as it pins me,

      sweating, to the wall. Vacuum cleaner,
      spiny cactus, five-pound sacks

      of rice and lentils slumped
      against my heart: up one flight

      of stairs and then another,
      down again with nothing in my arms.

      August 19, 2014
  51. How thrilling for you! I’m about to send my positive pee stick off to college in four days, and I’d give (almost) anything to be able to turn back time and start all over again. Congratulations and all the best wishes in the world from here on the other side!

    August 18, 2014
  52. !!!!!!!

    I’ve been waiting to really sit down and read this since I saw the preview in my email – I wanted to be able to focus. Congratulations! I’m so beyond happy for you, and I’m glad to hear things are going well. 🙂

    August 18, 2014
    • Thank you so much, Dana! The shock has worn off and now I’m so pumped!

      August 19, 2014
  53. Her Ladyship #

    OMG – congratulations!!! If I may: you can drive yourself nuts reading up on pregnancy stuff on the internet. It usually comes down to a couple of things: 1) hormones related to the baby and/or 2) your body preparing for birth. However, the pregnancy calendars were kind of fun to read each week, and they seemed manageable. My two favorites were these: http://alphamom.com/pregnancy-calendar-overview/ and http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/week-by-week/landing.aspx. Yay again!!!

    August 19, 2014
  54. we are going to have soooooo many talks in the near future. i can feel it. 🙂 SO happy for you; like beyond words happy.

    August 20, 2014
  55. Congrats again. Had to come back here and say I felt a similar isolation that first trimester. Morning sickness and losing my dog were both unfortunate occurrences but what really got me was keeping it a secret. I f*&#ing hate lying! It’s not good for me. Next time I might just tell the butcher, baker, and candlestick makers and circle round with bad news if anything happens. Anyway, congrats congrats congrats. Just enjoy yourself and then some (Nutella and cheddar sammies anyone?). XOX

    August 20, 2014
  56. So happy for you! If you don’t have “Be Prepared” by Gary Goldman, go get it. It put the humor right back in to my pregnancy after we had our “your fetus is missing a vital part of the placenta necessary for development/holy crap is that blood?!” scare with our first. (He ended up being a gigantic, totally fine, happy baby who has grown into a gigantic, totally weird, happy boy.) No idea where the weirdness comes from. I blame the placenta.

    August 21, 2014

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