This Is How You Get Arrested For Being A Good Citizen {with Mushroom + Brie Soup}

Here’s a snippet of a recent conversation with Scott.

ME:            So, you know that stop sign in front of our house?  The one people ignore?

SCOTT:     Yeah, sure.

ME:            Well it’s really dangerous, so I reported it to the police.

SCOTT:     Wow.  Your mom would be proud.

ME:            [thinking]  At least. . . I think I reported it.

SCOTT:     What do you mean, you “think”?

ME:            Well, the police department has an online complaint form, so I used that.  I entered our address and then I clicked on a box that said “describe the incident” and I told them that there are streets in downtown Bangladesh that are safer than ours.

SCOTT:     Okay. . .

ME:            And then I clicked submit.

SCOTT:     And. . . ?

ME:            Well, there must have been a glitch in the system because it deleted my description of the incident.  Everything I wrote about the stop sign was gone.  The only info that went through was our address.

SCOTT:     So, wait a second.  That means you reported our house to the police.

ME:            Basically, yes.

SCOTT:     [running his hand through his hair] That’s not good, Katherine.  That’s really not–

ME:            Wait, I’m not done.  I thought it could be just a one-time error, so I tried it again.  I retyped the stuff about the stop sign and I clicked submit.

SCOTT:     Did it work?

ME:            Well, no.

SCOTT:     So you turned us into the police twice???

ME:            Well, technically. . .

SCOTT:     Oh god.

ME:            . . . three times.  I mean, I assumed it was a problem with my computer, you know?  So I tried it on your Mac.

SCOTT:     [looking up at the ceiling]  It didn’t work, did it?

ME:            Nope.  But it’s okay.  I called the police.

SCOTT:     WHAT?? WHY??  WHY SO MUCH CONTACT WITH THE POLICE???

ME:            Well I had to explain, didn’t I?  I had to explain that I had accidentally turned myself in for a crime I didn’t commit!

SCOTT:      I think the crime we’re talking about now is harassing law enforcement.

ME:            Oh it’s fine.  I explained the whole thing to the lady who answered the phone.

SCOTT:     What did she say?

ME:            Her?  She was like, shit, I’m just a receptionist.

SCOTT:     [rolling his eyes]

ME:            But then she got Officer Kyle on the line.  Officer Kyle is great.  He’s going to single out our intersection for extra patrolling.

SCOTT:     So. . . we’re good then?

ME:            Totally.  I thanked him over and over.  And I told him that if his men get cold sitting in their cars by the stop sign in the freezing snow, they’re welcome to come inside to get warm.

SCOTT:     YOU GAVE THE POLICE A STANDING INVITATION TO COME INTO OUR HOUSE WITHOUT A WARRANT?

ME:            Hm. . . [thinking] Gosh,  I guess I did.

SCOTT:     [slapping his palm to his forehead] We need to move.

ME:            Soon?

SCOTT:     Yup.  Pretty soon.

~~~

What I take away from this experience is that doing one little nice thing for society can get very, very complicated.

So let’s focus on the easy things, shall we?  Take this wintery soup, for example.  It’s not hard to make, and your guests (in our case, possibly several large uniformed men) will love it.

I tried to approximate the taste of a soup they serve at a deli down the street from us, and Scott says I nailed it (for once).  It’s loaded with rich, earthy mushrooms.  The brie adds a richness but its flavor is subtle; your soup won’t taste like cheese, but its texture will be soft and velvety, more satisfying than a mushroom soup that’s thickened only with cream.

Mushroom & Brie Soup {Download & Print Recipe}
by eggton

Ingredients:

1 lb. white button mushrooms

1/2 lb. fresh shiitake mushrooms

1/2 lb. portobello mushrooms

2 Tbsp. olive oil (divided)

1 Tbsp. butter

6 oz. shallots, chopped

2 Tbsp. flour

4 c. reduced sodium beef broth

8 oz. brie cheese, white rind removed and discarded, cheese cut into roughly 1″- 2″ chunks

2 Tbsp. cream

1 Tbsp. sherry (optional)

Directions:

Rinse the mushrooms and pat them dry.  Remove the stems and slice them.  In a large pot or deep skillet, heat the butter and 1 Tbsp. of the olive oil over medium heat.  Add the mushrooms and cook, stirring occasionally, about 10 minutes, until the mushrooms have released their juices and the juices have mostly cooked off.  Transfer the mushrooms to a bowl and set aside.

Wipe out the pot and return it to the stove.  Heat the remaining 1 Tbsp. of olive oil in the pot over medium-low heat and add the shallots.  Cook, stirring often, about 6 minutes, until the shallots are soft and translucent.  Be careful not to brown them.

Return the mushrooms to the pot with the shallots.  Add the flour and stir to disburse it evenly.  Cook for 1 minute and then stir in the broth.  Bring the soup to a boil and then lower the heat to a simmer.  Cook about 10 minutes, until the soup thickens a little.

Purée the soup to your desired consistency with an immersion blender (or transfer the soup to a food processor, being careful not to burn yourself).  I like mine to have a slightly chunky texture, so I only partially purée it.  Return the soup to the pot over medium heat.

Add the brie, cream and sherry (if using).  Stir until the cheese is melted.  Taste the soup and season it with salt and pepper if you think it needs it.  Serve!

~~~

This is the face Seymour makes every time the wind shrieks around the outside of our house.
I bring it up because it’s also the face Scott makes now whenever there’s a knock on the door.