Grumble Grunt Grunt
A quick look at these pages–or my keyboard, which is home to a vast assortment of crumbs–would show that I’ve never gone paleo, or what have you. I’ve never tapped into my inner culinary cavegirl.
And yet. . . it’s -13° Fahrenheit outside. I walk around the house draped in wool, my shoulders bent from the cold, my voice barely more than a grunt. My total focus is on the fireplace, which I feed and poke obsessively lest it go out. I sit in the corner and watch it, every once in a while using my fingernail to scratch a drawing into the frost that has bloomed on the inside of the windowpanes.
To be clear: THE FROST IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE.
So I’m thinking. . . why not embrace my habitat and cook some of this ancient food I’ve been hearing about? After all, it’s so dry in here you could make beef jerky by leaving a steak on the kitchen counter. Paleo people dream of that sort of thing!
So, dinosaur food it is.
This is Melissa Joulwan’s chocolate chili. It’s the best chili I’ve ever had. (To be fair, the only other chili I’ve had is my mom’s. She puts a pound of prunes in hers and calls it, inexplicably, “sunshine chili.” So let me rephrase.)Melissa’s chili rocks.
(Get it? Paleo = Stone Age? Rocks? Ba-dum-chhhh!!)
But seriously. This chili has cocoa powder and allspice and cumin in it for a ton of flavor. It’s chock full of meat. It’ll warm you right up.
For a true paleo experience, follow her recipe exactly. (Hop over here for it.) My only note is that I drain the fat from the pan after I brown the meat. For a non-paleo experience, use olive oil or butter instead of coconut oil, and substitute beer for water for a nice little tang. You could add some beans, too. It’s thick enough to serve as an awesome bolognese, should you want to spoon it over *shhhh!* pasta.
There you have it, friends. From my cave to yours!