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In Real Life

My foot is in a surgical boot and can’t get wet, so Scott helps me wash my hair over the side of the bathtub.  In the magical universe where I have a butler and a pony, getting my hair washed by Scott would be romantic.  There would be $34 candles and soft towels and this Van Morrison song on the radio.  But in real life he takes the plastic bowl that I make pancakes in and fills it up with lukewarm water.  He tells me to crane my neck back on the cold porcelain ledge, and then he pours.

You guys, it’s like getting waterboarded in my own home.  Pretty soon I’m sputtering for air and clawing at his shirt, and he’s yelling down at me, “DO YOU WANT ME TO USE CONDITIONER?? DO YOU??”

I do not.

So that’s what’s going on here.  That and. . . it’s farmer’s market season!  Check out my latest haul:

bucket of local veggiesgreen onionsfresh eggsbroccoli 2rosesAnd it’s still so early in the growing season–soon we’ll have tomatoes, peaches, corn, grapes and figs amen.

Here’s what I’ve been doing with my loot:

finished broccoliRoasted broccoli:  Cut it and toss it with a good bit of olive oil so it doesn’t dry out.  Arrange it on a baking sheet, sprinkle it with salt and pepper, and roast it in the top half of the oven at 400 degrees.  Take it out when you can pierce it with a fork but before it burns.  Serve with lemon wedges or shaved Pecorino if you like.

onionCharred sweet onions:  Get some sweet or Vidalia onions.  Keep the skin on and slice them into 4 or 5 rounds that are 3/4″-1″ thick.  Carefully remove the band of skin from the outside of each round.  Carefully transfer the onions to a hot, slightly oiled skillet over medium heat.  Don’t move them around–let them sit there until they develop a dark brown sear on the bottom side.  Sprinkle them with salt and carefully flip them over.  Remove them when they reach your desired firmness.  Serve the onions with a vegetable platter or steak, or put them in a grilled cheese sandwich.

And finally, let’s do a belated shout-out to the dads out there.  If mine hadn’t gotten me up for school every day of my youth, I’d probably be working the late shift at a 24-hour Piercing Pagoda tonight.  Round of applause for that guy, right?

thunder and seymour smallMaybe a round of applause for Seymour, too.  He follows her everywhere and always has her back.

47 Comments Post a comment
  1. Amy #

    Hope your foot heals soon! That is so sweet of Scott to wash your hair 🙂 Beautiful pics! I love roasted broccoli. I stopped by a farmer’s market this weekend and it totally sucked. Hopefully it’ll have better stuff in the summer.

    June 17, 2013
    • Yeah, our farmer’s market doesn’t have all the good stuff yet. I can’t wait for tomatoes. I decided I’d try to eat seasonally and locally when it comes to tomatoes this year (thanks to reading “Tomatoland,” a book about the tomato industry) so I haven’t bought one in AGES. I’m DYING for one. Not sure how long I have to wait. Mid-July, maybe? Arg.

      June 18, 2013
  2. Nikki #

    But on the upside that late night cartilage piercing I got in college could have gone infinitely better with you behind the piercing gun….. so…. sure he got you up and off and successful but…. think of my ear cartilage Kat…. so selfish…

    June 17, 2013
    • I’ll make it up to you, Nikki. Any time you want a piercing at the top of your ear (so hip) you just let me know and we’ll make it happen.

      June 18, 2013
  3. Praying your foot heals and the sooner the better. Looks like Thunder is doing better too. Happy Week:)

    June 17, 2013
    • Thunder is healed! Her tongue is kinda uneven now, but it’s healed up. They did an amazing job because honestly–it was ripped right down the middle. All the way through in some places. It was bonkers. She’s back to eating sticks and toys and romping around with Seymour, who is glad not to have to tip-toe around her anymore!

      June 18, 2013
  4. Whadjoo do to yer foot, woman? And I love farmer’s market season more than most holidays. A new friend of mine, trying to get to know me better just asked, “So, besides blogging and cooking, what do you like to do?” The only thing I could think of was going to the farmer’s market. And blogging about it…

    June 17, 2013
    • I really enjoy the freshness of your posts in that regard. When farmer’s market season was over last year and you stopped posting a vegetable photo every week, I was bummed. I so love them–they’re the perfect imagery for the season.

      June 18, 2013
  5. I have 2 words for you—dry shampoo! (It really works)
    And those charred onions are going to be happening in my kitchen.

    June 17, 2013
    • Sue, I had NO IDEA that dry shampoo existed until about 4 days ago. I haven’t gotten any yet but from the sound of it it’s life-changing. I’m on the hunt for it!

      June 18, 2013
  6. Lovely photos! I’m spoiled to live in CA, where it’s always farmer’s market “season”… but I’m also very excited to head home to Wisconsin (later this week!) and visit my (family and) favorite farmer’s market ever, in Madison. I do the same thing with roasting broccoli, but have never tried that with onions… those look great!

    June 17, 2013
  7. you know, i broke my wrist once: same deal…tim had to wash my hair. i actually blocked that out until i read this post, and now? Therapy. Because it really is just as you described.
    Look at all the pretty farmers’ market booty! I’ve been hoarding fruits and vegetables like you wouldn’t believe, and with a few exceptions, i haven’t been able to make anything with them, because mostly i just want to eat them as they are. AMEN. 🙂
    feel better…i can’t live knowing you’re being waterboarded by scott every day.

    June 17, 2013
    • To help me with a similar fruit and vegetable hoarding problem, Scott’s mom got us a dehydrator! I’m going to try to dehydrate some berries from the farmer’s market so that I can put them in granola and stuff this winter. Isn’t that neat? I think I can also make chips out of various vegetables. And high-quality beef jerky! It’s going to be a hoot.

      June 18, 2013
  8. ingrid simmons #

    One of the funniest blogs in blogdom. I love you. And your pictures. In a sisterly kind of way, okay? Dry Shampoo, yes. Anyone who lives in California I hate right now. Think West Texas haboobs. Not pretty.

    June 17, 2013
    • Ingrid, I love ya right back.

      I must find this mystical dry shampoo. How did this trend completely pass me by? Was I out of the country or something the one week they spent $4 million on commercials? I have never heard of it but it seems like EVERYBODY here knows about it.

      I will find some and report back.

      June 18, 2013
  9. Man, that must be what it would be like to have Jack Bauer wash your hair. “DO YOU WANT A BLOW DRY?? TELL ME!”

    June 17, 2013
  10. Um, what happened to your foot? Did I miss that story? I’m thinking it was worth it (for me), as the second paragraph of this post? Well, it made me laugh really hard. I don’t even want to think about how 2.0 would keep me clean should I ever find myself in need. (shudder.)

    June 17, 2013
    • Ugh. I haven’t told The Foot Story yet because, I mean, that HAS to be the number one rule of food blogging: No detailed discussion of your FEET. Especially PROBLEMATIC FEET. The only feet that food bloggers are allowed to talk about are the cute, jasmine-scented feet of their toddlers. Right? NEVERMIND that most toddlers’ feet are dirtier than a movie theatre floor at the end of the day, am I right?

      June 18, 2013
  11. Speedy recovery!

    June 17, 2013
  12. Ah, what GORGEOUS photos. I kept scrolling back up to check out that head of broccoli and those creamy brown eggs. Simply beautiful.

    So sorry about your foot. Could you try a bath, with your foot propped up on the side, wrapped in a trash bag? And then you could lie down to wash your hair, or even better, buy a spray attachment for your shower head and get all salon-ish in your bathroom! I used to break bones a lot when I was little, so I have experience with such things.

    June 17, 2013
    • Excellent ideas, all of them! I will try a bath. Scott’s contribution can be cleaning the dang bathtub instead of washing my hair (and by that I mean blasting my nose/face/eyes with water).

      June 18, 2013
  13. mmmmmm – i have a sudden craving for broccoli! Hope your foot gets better quickly so you can regain hair washing autonomy!

    June 17, 2013
    • Well said, sister.

      Congratulations on your new apartment, by the way!

      June 18, 2013
  14. I’m sorry about your foot, but the visual of your husband accidentally “waterboarding” you and yelling about conditioner just made me laugh out loud in the internet cafe and people stared. So thanks!

    June 17, 2013
  15. A broken foot. How debilitating. I know how frustrating this can be. Last year my husband tripped and broke BOTH his feet. Im sure our household would have come to a complete standstill if it had been me who had broken my feet. My other half always means well and has a heart of gold but multi tasking and the practicalities of life are not exactly his strong points. Hope your foot mends quickly. Love the photos.

    June 17, 2013
    • Good grief, TWO broken feet? The poor dear! (Or, as people say in the South, “bless his heart.”) What a recovery that must have been. We’re still waiting to hear exactly what I did to mine–as of now, it’s still a mystery. (An annoying one at that, but it could be worse!)

      June 18, 2013
  16. I recently found dry shampoo and it has Changed My Life. I only wash my hair like once a week now (I used to have to wash it daily). If you haven’t tried it yet – please give it a go.

    Also – I was literally grilling up some burgers last night and was thinking to myself, dang, I need to find some new ways to cook fresh vegetables on the grill (even in a pan). We are really trying to Become Adults and eat real food, and grilling every night is something I can handle since I can argue that it is quicker than ordering delivery. So more simple and creative vegetables recipes please!!! And more pictures of the pups…my parents are putting down our lab (16 years old!) this week, and I love seeing your little cherubs.

    June 18, 2013
    • Hi Kayla! Ok, you are one of many people who have just told me about dry shampoo. I absolutely must try it, it seems. I hope to God we have it in Alabama.

      I really feel for you and your family when it comes to your lab. I’m sorry, my friend. Three cheers to its long life and all the pets and hugs you gave it over the years.

      Vegetables are my favorite thing to cook so I’ll definitely do more and let you know how they turn out. In the meantime, I found you some vegetable recipes to look through! Check these out:

      June 18, 2013
  17. Thank you for sharing your story – I laughed so hard! I hope you get better soon. Your pictures are so beautiful. And those charred onions are making me hungry!

    June 18, 2013
    • Melissa! Thanks, lady. I really like taking pictures of vegetables.

      We made grilled cheese sandwiches with those onions and ate them with a bowl of canned chicken noodle soup. It was perfect!

      June 18, 2013
  18. Thunder: Piercing Pagoda? These ears were meant for studs, baby!

    June 18, 2013
    • Haa!

      Thunder seems to have an insanely high threshold for pain. I know it just seems that way to me because she can’t yell and scream and cry, but when she split her tongue she looked at me like “What? Why are you staring at me?” even though she had blood all over her face. Getting her ears pierced would be a breeze! (Not that I would do that, of course. She’d borrow and then lose all my earrings.)

      June 18, 2013
  19. Awww…get well soon!!!! I agree…Scott is very sweet! The last time I sprained my leg, my guy drove me to the parlour and dumped me uncermoniously there with his credit card! I guess there is some romantic aspect to his action, though I am yet to discover what it is 😉

    June 18, 2013
    • Ha! I totally thought about doing that, but for better or worse (ahem. WORSE) I decided to put my fate in the hands of the gentleman over here. I may be revisiting my decision in the near future.

      June 18, 2013
  20. a #

    Sure, you could use dry shampoo…but, why would you not just bend forward (at the waist) instead of backward (at the neck) and pour the water from that way? Your hair makes for a nice protective waterfall curtain, and you don’t really get any on your face. Just a thought, if you like the wet shampoo better.

    I love the farmer’s market, and yet I have lived in my house 8 years and have never been to the one nearby. Why??? Oh well, maybe this year, we’ll go.

    June 18, 2013
    • jenny_o #

      I was going to suggest this method, too – you can do it at the kitchen sink if you can stand on your boot for a couple of minutes. It’s how I wash my hair most of the time, because it’s so thick it’s hard to rinse well in the shower. I must say, though, your method makes for a funnier post 🙂

      June 18, 2013
    • Well, the bathtub has a sliding door on it, and the faucet is so far away from the side of the tub that I’d basically have to throw myself, stomach-first, over the side to reach it. Meanwhile, the sink is itty bitty. So I figured I’d enlist his help, which was clearly a mistake….

      June 27, 2013
  21. It seems that the water boarding may be more dangerous than the foot issue. Thank gogmformthe food and the dog )

    June 21, 2013
    • Agreed. I mean, I should be focused on healing my foot, not on my newfound ability to write a torture memo based on personal experiences.

      June 27, 2013
  22. Yinny #

    I’m a big fan of your blog, but so far have been a lurker. So sorry to hear about the foot.

    If I don’t wash my hair everyday, it turns into a limp, sad, scary mess. I’ve used this rinseless shampoo while on long airplane rides, and on camping trips. It works!! I get it from REI, but it looks like Walgreens carries it too:

    July 5, 2013
  23. Sorry to hear about the foot! Also, enjoyed the photos of food and lovely flowers. Always fun to see the dogs, including Seymour, too.

    July 13, 2013

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