In Real Life
My foot is in a surgical boot and can’t get wet, so Scott helps me wash my hair over the side of the bathtub. In the magical universe where I have a butler and a pony, getting my hair washed by Scott would be romantic. There would be $34 candles and soft towels and this Van Morrison song on the radio. But in real life he takes the plastic bowl that I make pancakes in and fills it up with lukewarm water. He tells me to crane my neck back on the cold porcelain ledge, and then he pours.
You guys, it’s like getting waterboarded in my own home. Pretty soon I’m sputtering for air and clawing at his shirt, and he’s yelling down at me, “DO YOU WANT ME TO USE CONDITIONER?? DO YOU??”
I do not.
So that’s what’s going on here. That and. . . it’s farmer’s market season! Check out my latest haul:
Here’s what I’ve been doing with my loot:
Roasted broccoli: Cut it and toss it with a good bit of olive oil so it doesn’t dry out. Arrange it on a baking sheet, sprinkle it with salt and pepper, and roast it in the top half of the oven at 400 degrees. Take it out when you can pierce it with a fork but before it burns. Serve with lemon wedges or shaved Pecorino if you like.
Charred sweet onions: Get some sweet or Vidalia onions. Keep the skin on and slice them into 4 or 5 rounds that are 3/4″-1″ thick. Carefully remove the band of skin from the outside of each round. Carefully transfer the onions to a hot, slightly oiled skillet over medium heat. Don’t move them around–let them sit there until they develop a dark brown sear on the bottom side. Sprinkle them with salt and carefully flip them over. Remove them when they reach your desired firmness. Serve the onions with a vegetable platter or steak, or put them in a grilled cheese sandwich.
And finally, let’s do a belated shout-out to the dads out there. If mine hadn’t gotten me up for school every day of my youth, I’d probably be working the late shift at a 24-hour Piercing Pagoda tonight. Round of applause for that guy, right?