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Black Cherry Granola

When I was a kid, my parents got me a computer game called Cave Girl Clair.  They didn’t know it then, but Cave Girl Clair was the software industry’s horrifically misguided attempt to empower young girls through games featuring female protagonists.

The problem was that Clair’s life sucked.  If you let her venture out into the world for more than 20 seconds at a time, her bonfire would go out and she would freeze to death.  If she didn’t freeze, she’d get eaten by a wild animal because she had no weapons and no choice but to run away.  Also, she wasn’t much bigger than the pet rabbit that followed her everywhere.  The imaging was rudimentary, so you couldn’t tell if she was wearing any shoes.  For all these reasons, you could only let her eat the seeds, nuts and medicinal herbs in her immediate vicinity.

She was always underfed.

I worried about her.

When it came to my mother’s attention that Clair was a defenseless, scantily-clad young lady who was always dieting and taking “medicinal herbs,” letters were written and phone calls were made, and I received another copy of the book Girls Can Be Anything.  (In that one, the girl becomes president of the United States at the age of like, ten.)

I think Cave Girl Clair is why I used to hate granola.  All those seeds and nuts and dried bits brought me back to the moment near the end of each game, when I’d lower my eyes and whisper at the screen, “The rabbit.  I want to eat the rabbit.”

I have since realized that homemade granola is delicious.

There are so many reasons to make your own granola.  It is ridiculously easy.  It makes a joke out of the taste of boxed granola, and boxed granola is expensive, anyway.  Your house will smell like a cinnamon nut factory.  You can make pretty jars of it and bring it to brunches or holiday parties.

You can also control your own ingredients.  In my case, that means no sunflower seeds, since I never really taste them anyway.  You could add any kind of dried fruit or seed to this recipe, or coconut (20 minutes into the cooking time, or the coconut will burn).  If you add a lot more nuts and grains, just ratchet up the amount of honey and maple syrup a bit.  If you don’t want to go to the natural foods store for wheat germ, just leave it out.  You can leave out the dried cherries altogether and go with something else–orange peel, dried mango or guava, chocolate, marshmallows…

Finally, you should make this granola because if you do, somewhere Cave Girl Clair will want to smile.  She won’t be able to, because none of the dudes at Rhiannon Software thought to endow her with facial features, but that’s not the point.

Black Cherry Granola

Ingredients:

6 c. rolled oats (not quick or instant oats.  This is a little less than one 18-oz. cylindrical canister)

1 c. wheat germ

1 c. raw almonds

1 c. pecans

2 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/8 tsp. salt

1/2 c. honey

1/2 c. maple syrup

1 c. dried cherries

1/2 c.- 1 c. dried pineapple (optional)

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
Roughly chop the pecans and almonds.
In a large bowl, combine the oats, wheat germ, cinnamon, salt, nuts, honey and maple syrup.  Stir with a large wooden spoon to coat evenly.  (The mixture will still look pretty dry, but stir it up as best you can.)
Spread the mixture evenly on a few baking sheets (don’t pile it high on one sheet.  Work in separate batches if you have to.  I had 3 sheets’ worth.)
Bake for approximately 20-30 minutes, folding it over occasionally so it bakes evenly.  The darker the granola gets without burning, the better.  If you think you burned it, let it cool and give it a taste– it’s probably still delicious.  The granola will not be crunchy until it has fully cooled.
Transfer the granola from the baking tray to a few plates to cool.  While it’s cooling, roughly chop the dried cherries and the dried pineapple rings (if desired).
When the granola has cooled, toss it with the dried fruits and keep it in a sealed, dry container.
(N.B. the source of the snapshot of Cave Girl Clair in this post is here.)

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14 Comments Post a comment
  1. kat #

    Ooh yum! I love eating granola with my yogurt! Love how easy this is! Thanks for sharing 🙂

    November 19, 2011
    • Thanks, Kat! Granola is so amazingly easy. Who knew?! I haven’t had dinner yet and now all I want is a cold Betty Crocker cookie like you blogged about. Grr. Take care.

      November 19, 2011
  2. This sounds delicious … I adore dried cherries! A lovely jar of this, like the one in your photo, would make a great gift. Cheers, Mar

    November 19, 2011
    • Hi, Mar! Thanks. I agree on dried cherries (I like them so much more than dried cranberries) and on the gift idea. I am going to a pre-Thanksgiving brunch, and I am going to take one of these jars with me as a gift for the hostess. Mason jars are easy to find, and I had some flannel lying around that I had bought at a craft store. I just cut a rough circle of it out and stuck it under the lid of the jar. Super easy!

      November 20, 2011
  3. Well, now I’m worried about Cave Girl Claire. I mean, shouldn’t we DO something? Get her some shoes? Pimp her cave? Cripes. I’m not going to sleep tonight. I wonder what Claire is doing right now. Wait, I know. She’s freezin’ to death.

    November 19, 2011
    • Excellent observation as usual, movita: In fact, she kept trying to pimp her own cave by drawing “totems” on the wall. In the picture I posted, there’s some bear head or something, outlined on the back of the cave. The program would just announce “CLAIR IS GOING TO PAINT HER TOTEM NOW,” and you’d be like, “Yay! Go Clair! Surely this is a good development!” And then she’d draw it, but nothing would happen. Zero beneficial consequences. This was consistent with the game having no point and there being no way to win.

      November 20, 2011
  4. Cassie's world #

    Thanks for the recipe! I think I’m going to make it for a Christmas-present.. It’s perfect for my parents. But it looks so delicious, especially with the raspberries (one of my favorite fruits) and the yogurt, that I’ll prepare an extra portion for myself 🙂

    November 20, 2011
    • Hi Cassie! I hope it’s delicious. It makes A LOT of granoola. And if you do it in more than one sheet, you can always check the sweetness on the first sheet and adjust the sweetness of the remaining granola accordingly. I found that it looked dry and not very coated when it first came out of the oven, but it sweetened up once it cooled. Take care.

      November 20, 2011
  5. Kate #

    Posts like this should really have a warning. I almost choked on my salad, I was laughing so hard.

    November 21, 2011
  6. ana #

    Thank you for the recipe. I would like my kitchen to be a cinnamon nut factory, hehe :).
    Greetings,
    C&T

    November 22, 2011
  7. This sounds/looks amazing! I will be making this weekend! Thank you so much!

    January 5, 2012
    • Hi there, I am so glad! It’s really, good. I was shocked at how easy it was. Just watch it to make sure it gets as dark as possible but doesn’t burn too much, and you’ll be set. Ovens are so different that the cooking times here are approximate. Let me know what you think, and thanks for visiting!

      January 5, 2012
  8. Haha loved this post

    cheers

    January 12, 2012

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