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God Only Knows

I was brushing my teeth this morning when a little tuft of hair and dirt in the corner of the bathroom caught my eye.  I went over and peered down at it, and I’ll be damned if it didn’t look exactly like a fat unicorn with two eyes and a smile and a mane.  I yelled “SCOTT! YOU HAVE TO COME HERE!!!” because–and I really didn’t think I’d have to explain this to him–when you see the secular equivalent of The Virgin Mary In A Tortilla, you tell people.  You don’t just quietly fill the tortilla with chicken and cheese and eat it.  That would be dumb and possibly disrespectful.

When Scott heard me yell, he came skidding into the bathroom like OH MY GOD DID YOU HURT YOURSELF?  And I was like SPEAKING OF GOD, CHECK OUT THE UNICORN. 

But he wasn’t listening.  He was scanning me for signs of injury and, finding none, he started to look disgruntled.

Why did you scream for me?  he asked.  Are you bleeding anywhere?  Did you fall down?

I love the man, but sometimes I wish he’d focus on what’s important.

Honey, you’re not listening to me, I said, pointing to the floor.  LOOK at THAT.

Oh, he said.  It looks kind of like a dog.


God only knows how many real live unicorns he’s spotted over the years and not captured.


My mom is coming to visit in a few days, so the dogicorn (unidog?) has been swept up, the stove top has been scrubbed, and restaurant reservations have been made.  Until she gets here, we’ll be finishing off two pots of soup–a tomato pumpkin bisque, and this black bean number.

black bean soupI like this soup because it’s good for you, it’s hearty, and it’s fast.  The cinnamon, cumin and chili powder give it a rich flavor, and it’s even better the day after you make it.

Easy Black Bean Soup {vegetarian & vegan} {download & print recipe}
by eggton


3 Tbsp. butter or olive oil

1 onion, chopped

3 ribs celery, peeled and diced

2 carrots, peeled and diced

6 cloves garlic, chopped

2 c. low sodium vegetable broth

1 15-oz. can tomato sauce

3 15.5-oz. cans black beans, drained but not rinsed

1 1/2 Tbsp. ketchup (use a vegan ketchup if you’re vegan)

1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce (omit if vegan)

1 tsp. chili powder

1 tsp. cinnamon

1 tsp. cumin


In a large pot or a big skillet with raised sides, melt the olive oil or butter over medium heat.  Add the chopped onion and celery and carrot.  Sauté until the onion is tender and translucent but not browned, lowering the heat if necessary.  Add the garlic and cook another couple of minutes.  Add the remaining ingredients and stir to combine.  Raise the heat to bring it to a boil and then lower it so that the soup simmers for 20 minutes (or less–but if you cook it really fast your veggies might still be a little crunchy).  Purée half or all of the soup in a blender or food processor, then stir it back into the pot (or just use an immersion blender).  Taste the soup and adjust the seasoning as desired.  If it’s too thick for your taste, add more broth and reheat.  Serve with sour cream and cheese if you like (provided you’re not vegan).

thunder 10.26.14Someone’s got to keep an eye out for early trick-or-treaters.