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This Is How You Get Arrested For Being A Good Citizen {with Mushroom + Brie Soup}

Here’s a snippet of a recent conversation with Scott.

ME:            So, you know that stop sign in front of our house?  The one people ignore?

SCOTT:     Yeah, sure.

ME:            Well it’s really dangerous, so I reported it to the police.

SCOTT:     Wow.  Your mom would be proud.

ME:            [thinking]  At least. . . I think I reported it.

SCOTT:     What do you mean, you “think”?

ME:            Well, the police department has an online complaint form, so I used that.  I entered our address and then I clicked on a box that said “describe the incident” and I told them that there are streets in downtown Bangladesh that are safer than ours.

SCOTT:     Okay. . .

ME:            And then I clicked submit.

SCOTT:     And. . . ?

ME:            Well, there must have been a glitch in the system because it deleted my description of the incident.  Everything I wrote about the stop sign was gone.  The only info that went through was our address.

SCOTT:     So, wait a second.  That means you reported our house to the police.

ME:            Basically, yes.

SCOTT:     [running his hand through his hair] That’s not good, Katherine.  That’s really not–

ME:            Wait, I’m not done.  I thought it could be just a one-time error, so I tried it again.  I retyped the stuff about the stop sign and I clicked submit.

SCOTT:     Did it work?

ME:            Well, no.

SCOTT:     So you turned us into the police twice???

ME:            Well, technically. . .

SCOTT:     Oh god.

ME:            . . . three times.  I mean, I assumed it was a problem with my computer, you know?  So I tried it on your Mac.

SCOTT:     [looking up at the ceiling]  It didn’t work, did it?

ME:            Nope.  But it’s okay.  I called the police.

SCOTT:     WHAT?? WHY??  WHY SO MUCH CONTACT WITH THE POLICE???

ME:            Well I had to explain, didn’t I?  I had to explain that I had accidentally turned myself in for a crime I didn’t commit!

SCOTT:      I think the crime we’re talking about now is harassing law enforcement.

ME:            Oh it’s fine.  I explained the whole thing to the lady who answered the phone.

SCOTT:     What did she say?

ME:            Her?  She was like, shit, I’m just a receptionist.

SCOTT:     [rolling his eyes]

ME:            But then she got Officer Kyle on the line.  Officer Kyle is great.  He’s going to single out our intersection for extra patrolling.

SCOTT:     So. . . we’re good then?

ME:            Totally.  I thanked him over and over.  And I told him that if his men get cold sitting in their cars by the stop sign in the freezing snow, they’re welcome to come inside to get warm.

SCOTT:     YOU GAVE THE POLICE A STANDING INVITATION TO COME INTO OUR HOUSE WITHOUT A WARRANT?

ME:            Hm. . . [thinking] Gosh,  I guess I did.

SCOTT:     [slapping his palm to his forehead] We need to move.

ME:            Soon?

SCOTT:     Yup.  Pretty soon.

~~~

What I take away from this experience is that doing one little nice thing for society can get very, very complicated.

mushroom brie soup So let’s focus on the easy things, shall we?  Take this wintery soup, for example.  It’s not hard to make, and your guests (in our case, possibly several large uniformed men) will love it.

I tried to approximate the taste of a soup they serve at a deli down the street from us, and Scott says I nailed it (for once).  It’s loaded with rich, earthy mushrooms.  The brie adds a richness but its flavor is subtle; your soup won’t taste like cheese, but its texture will be soft and velvety, more satisfying than a mushroom soup that’s thickened only with cream.

Mushroom & Brie Soup {Download & Print Recipe}
by eggton

Ingredients:

1 lb. white button mushrooms

1/2 lb. fresh shiitake mushrooms

1/2 lb. portobello mushrooms

2 Tbsp. olive oil (divided)

1 Tbsp. butter

6 oz. shallots, chopped

2 Tbsp. flour

4 c. reduced sodium beef broth

8 oz. brie cheese, white rind removed and discarded, cheese cut into roughly 1″- 2″ chunks

2 Tbsp. cream

1 Tbsp. sherry (optional)

Directions:

Rinse the mushrooms and pat them dry.  Remove the stems and slice them.  In a large pot or deep skillet, heat the butter and 1 Tbsp. of the olive oil over medium heat.  Add the mushrooms and cook, stirring occasionally, about 10 minutes, until the mushrooms have released their juices and the juices have mostly cooked off.  Transfer the mushrooms to a bowl and set aside.

Wipe out the pot and return it to the stove.  Heat the remaining 1 Tbsp. of olive oil in the pot over medium-low heat and add the shallots.  Cook, stirring often, about 6 minutes, until the shallots are soft and translucent.  Be careful not to brown them.

Return the mushrooms to the pot with the shallots.  Add the flour and stir to disburse it evenly.  Cook for 1 minute and then stir in the broth.  Bring the soup to a boil and then lower the heat to a simmer.  Cook about 10 minutes, until the soup thickens a little.

Purée the soup to your desired consistency with an immersion blender (or transfer the soup to a food processor, being careful not to burn yourself).  I like mine to have a slightly chunky texture, so I only partially purée it.  Return the soup to the pot over medium heat.

Add the brie, cream and sherry (if using).  Stir until the cheese is melted.  Taste the soup and season it with salt and pepper if you think it needs it.  Serve!

~~~

seymour, worriedThis is the face Seymour makes every time the wind shrieks around the outside of our house.
I bring it up because it’s also the face Scott makes now whenever there’s a knock on the door.

53 Comments Post a comment
  1. Rofl… computer glitches can be blamed for all sorts of things!

    January 24, 2014
  2. Cindy Roy #

    Resemblance is startling (and it’s a WONDERFUL photo…)

    January 24, 2014
    • It’s funny–Seymour barks at people as they go past the house, but when the wind shrieks he just freezes and looks like a crazed maniac!

      February 3, 2014
  3. What a great story, love your soup!

    January 24, 2014
    • Thanks, Cheri! I think the next soup I’m going to try to make will be an Italian wedding soup. I love the canned variety–it’s probably my favorite soup out there. Do you have a favorite? I’m trying to brainstorm other soup ideas.

      February 3, 2014
  4. Tell Scott he’s got nothing to worry about. I reported your house to the police AGES ago – if they haven’t swooped in on you by now, you’re probably in the clear.

    January 24, 2014
    • I’m thinking you could get yourself out of anything if you gave them a bowl of this creamy soup. Who could arrest a gal serving soup?

      January 27, 2014
  5. texascritter #

    ooh lovely! Mushroom soup is my FAVORITE! I’ve never tried to make it (cause it never comes out as good as La Madeleine) but the ingredients are on my grocery list now!

    January 24, 2014
    • I have never had the mushroom soup at La Madeleine–I always get the tomato. Gah! I’ll try it next time.

      February 3, 2014
  6. Classic. What can I say? The soup looks amazing and I hope the neighbours at your new house will love it too.

    January 24, 2014
  7. I think a bowl of mushroom soup is just the thing to warm up our hard-working civil servants!

    January 24, 2014
    • Maybe I should just have an open house and serve mushroom soup and see if I can get out of some parking tickets, too…

      February 3, 2014
  8. Dave C. #

    Thank god Scott went to such a good law school.

    January 24, 2014
  9. I think you’ll be fine as long as the officers can tell thyme from “oregano”!

    January 24, 2014
  10. We thought that only people in Florida could not read STOP. they think that it means to roll through or zoom through.

    January 24, 2014
    • It’s really astounding how many people don’t stop at stop signs. I’ve sat here and watched for several minutes at a time and seen 20 people roll right through, and maybe 5 people stop. Gah!

      February 3, 2014
  11. Story: Hilarious. Recipe: Holy crap, I want that. I bet that’ll keep even the grouchiest officer off your tail.

    January 24, 2014
  12. sue ellen #

    You have a great life my dear !!!!

    January 24, 2014
    • You know, you’re quite right. I feel very lucky.

      February 3, 2014
  13. Ooooh, creamy cheese melted into mushroom soup! What invited guest (burly and uniformed, or not) wouldn’t love this?!

    January 24, 2014
    • That’s the idea, my friend. A soupy, cheesy distraction is what I’m going for!

      February 3, 2014
  14. I

    January 25, 2014
    • Th

      January 25, 2014
      • This is too perfect…my phone is malfunctioning and won’t allow me to finish my reply…

        ANYWAY! I e-mailed the Swedish police once. I should have spell checked that bad boy…

        I love mushrooms and cheese! My partner HATES mushrooms and cheese. Soup for one, please!

        January 25, 2014
        • Ha! My friend told me a funny spell-check story recently. On an on-line self-review form for her job, she put “I think I’m good at diffusing tense situations with hummus.”

          February 3, 2014
          • Haha! That is excellent. Something I should try. Guess that requires hummus to always be on hand, don’t you have a recipe for that on here somewhere??

            February 4, 2014
  15. Gail Hart #

    Oh how I love your posts! Thanks for another good laugh and great recipe! ! So glad to be one of your faithful followers.

    January 25, 2014
    • Gail, I AM THE ONE who is glad that you come here. THANK YOU! You are one of the reasons this little spot is so much fun for me.

      February 3, 2014
  16. This soup looks amazing! And that story — I cannot stop laughing!! That sounds so much like something I would do, it’s scary!

    January 25, 2014
    • Well, email me if you DO find yourself in a similar situation and I can, you know, tell you what I’ve learned in the meantime. :)

      February 3, 2014
  17. Oh, the Seymour Face! That will be a new code word at your house. “Scott, you’re making the Seymour face again.”

    January 25, 2014
    • That’s true, although “the Seymour face” might be ambiguous, given that Seymour also makes a pretty distinctive “what? what did I do?” face when we catch him happily munching on the stuffing in our mattress.

      February 3, 2014
  18. Cute story. The soup looks and sounds delicious as well.. Love the idea of using brie instead of all cream like I do in my mushroom soup.

    January 25, 2014
    • Mmmm, I just looked at your recipe and I like how you use pork bone stock. I bet that’s just awesome.

      February 3, 2014
  19. Hmm it looks like your site ate my first comment (it was
    super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I submitted and say,
    I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too
    am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to the whole thing.
    Do you have any points for inexperienced blog
    writers? I’d genuinely appreciate it.

    January 25, 2014
    • Congrats on starting to blog! That’s so exciting. I’ll think about tips and get back to you.

      February 3, 2014
  20. Hadley #

    Had to say love what you wrote, I laugh out loud . (Sorry had to say it) :)

    January 25, 2014
    • Goodness, to the contrary! Thanks for saying it!

      February 3, 2014
  21. jenny_o #

    Offering sympathy here, because I am so darn familiar with the zealous explaining that despite all efforts just digs the trench deeper … if we don’t hear from you for awhile, we’ll be able to guess what happened!

    That is just the right face to make when the wind howls. It might not be appropriate for greeting visitors, though :)

    January 25, 2014
    • Seymour tends to great visitors in a two-paws-up, face-licking whirlwind that includes a very loud soundtrack, so it’s funny to imagine him just looking quietly askance at the front door like this!

      February 3, 2014
  22. Lucinda Rogers #

    Let us know if you need us to send you a saw baked into a loaf of bread.

    January 26, 2014
    • Ha! Loaves of bread are welcome both in and out of prison. If you include a saw in the loaf you send to my house, we’ll just eat around it and save the saw for future baking, as required.

      February 3, 2014
  23. a #

    Seymour’s face is classic! I just made that same face at a recent wind gust.

    We have a stop sign in my neighborhood at which no one stops. I was mentioning that to one of our town cops when he came into my workplace, and he said that not only was he aware, he had even sat there to watch for offenders. Little did he know that I am a main one – especially after a snowfall but before the plows have come through!

    January 26, 2014
    • It’s funny you say that because now I come to a long, complete stop at EVERY stop sign in town. Because how ironic would it be if *I* am the one who gets a ticket after all this?

      February 3, 2014
  24. Amy #

    Hahaha, well at least you tried! I think you can reward yourself for that good deed. And this soup looks amazing. I love mushroom soup but then you go and add brie and well, that can only make it better!

    January 29, 2014
    • You know, I actually don’t particularly love brie when it’s not in soup. My favorite cheeses are almost all hard, nutty ones (with the exception of goat cheese), and I like to eat them with honey and almonds. That’s pretty much my ideal cheese plate, right there.

      February 3, 2014
  25. This is precisely why I never do anything good or nice for “society”. EVERYONE FOR THEMSELVES!!!

    February 7, 2014

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