Skip to content

My Case For An Outdoor Butler

Sometimes the local newspaper asks me to write a story.

They don’t call me when they need someone to cover a political scandal or a tornado.

They call me when they need someone to figure out how to raise a pet chicken.

In my heart I know I was born to do this.  But I try to play it cool.  When they ask if I’m available, I say “One moment please, let me check my calendar. . . .”

But really, I’m thinking WHOOOWEE! IMMA BE A FAMOUS CHICKEN JOURNALIST!  And I’m wiggling around like a kid who has to pee.

After I get the call, I have a week or two to do research.  This basically involves showing up at peoples’ houses and asking if I can pet their chickens.

It also involves:

(a) seeing if this bathtub full of chicks and ducklings fits into my trunk;

(b) crying in the parking lot when it does not; and

(c) realizing I need to sneak it back into the feed store before anyone notices that it’s gone.

In case you try to steal one of these tubs-- please know that these little shits can fly.

When the research is done, I test my information out on Scott.

This involves poking him and telling him chicken facts so I can figure out which ones are the best.

Like so:

[poke] Chickens dig holes so they can take dust baths but then they shake the dust off and they’re actually cleaner than before.  

[poke] They eat yogurt.  And grapes.

[poke]  Some of them lay pastel-colored eggs.

This goes on for about three days and eventually I write the damn thing and send it in.

At this point, Scott says “WELL THANK GOD THAT’S OVER,” and I say “I KNOW, RIGHT? NOW I FINALLY HAVE TIME TO GET US OUR OWN CHICKEN.”

We will call her Louise.  She’s going to guard our backyard and eat our table scraps and make eggs for breakfast.

It’ll be like having an outdoor butler, basically.

Just look at her butle the heck out of this wooden post.

Right?

Scott’s being a real buzz-kill about her.  He says she would violate our lease.

This coming from a guy who just asked me if he could trim the boxwood bushes in our front yard into the shape of a spaceship.

I get that we live in a NASA town and Scott likes space stuff.  But, um, hello.  What are the chances the spaceship looks like a giant ding dong?  90%.  I’m pretty sure the lease says something about not putting ding dong monuments in the front yard.  And if it doesn’t, I’m writing it in.

IMMA BE A FAMOUS CHICKEN JOURNALIST WITH A REPUTATION TO UPHOLD, Y’ALL.

But in case chicken journalism isn’t a bottomless well of opportunity, I’m still cooking.

This is the delicious brioche from “Baking With Julia.”  You can get the recipe here.  But if you don’t have time to make fancy bread, just get a loaf of something at the store and smother it with some goat cheese and portobello mushrooms.

I like to throw garlic and mushrooms in a pan with some olive oil, salt and thyme and finish it off with a dash of balsamic.

For dinner, we toasted slices of brioche, smothered them with goat cheese, topped them with mushrooms, drizzled them with olive oil and sprinkled them with sea salt.   It was awesome, and from start to finish, it took about 30 minutes.

Portobello Mushrooms with Balsamic & Thyme {Download & Print Recipe}

Ingredients:

2 tbsp. + 1 tsp. olive oil

3 large cloves garlic, passed through a garlic press (or chopped is fine)

12 oz. portobello mushroom caps, cut into  1/2″ strips

1/2 tsp. kosher salt

1 tbsp. fresh thyme

1/2 tsp. sugar

1 tsp. balsamic vinegar

Directions:

In a medium or large skillet, heat the olive oil over medium-low heat.  When it’s hot, add the garlic.  Sautée for a minute.  Make sure the garlic isn’t browning or frying up.  Add the mushrooms, salt and thyme.  At first, the skillet will be dry except for the oil.  10-15 minutes into cooking, they will be dark and will have released their water content into the skillet.  At this point, add the sugar and the vinegar.  Cook, stirring occasionally, at least 5 minutes more, until most of the liquid in the skillet has evaporated.

Serving suggestions:

Spoon the mushrooms over goat cheese on toasted bread and drizzle with olive oil, if desired, and coarse salt.  Or toss on salads, put in omelets, incorporate into pasta sauces, etc.

~~~

Thunder sat on her blanket for 20 minutes this morning with a shoelace hanging out of her mouth.

And then she took a nap, still connected to the shoe.

As I was saying to Scott, it’s probably because my shoes smell like chickens now, and she’s trying to tell us that we should get Louise.

85 Comments Post a comment
  1. juanitascocina #

    One time my son won a chick at the min-fair at the mall. Yes, a chick. It was dyed pink. I tried to give it back to the carnie at the “fish a duck” tank, but she wouldn’t take it back. She said it was his.

    (This is how you know you’re raised in a small, country town)

    I turned in a circle and headed to the first guy in a cowboy hat I saw. I asked him if he had a farm. He did. I gave him the chick.

    I have guilt. (even years later) I’m now in search of a chicken abandonment therapist. I think your new expertise in the chicken world may qualify you. How much would you charge?

    April 5, 2012
    • Free, Jen, my services would be free. But maybe we could discuss over some of the shrimp tacos you have on your site?

      I tried to do what you did, but with a gold fish. I went to a county fair in Virginia when I was 28 and accidentally won a gold fish. Without thinking, I offered it to the kid standing next to me (who really sucked at throwing bean bags). The kid’s mom looked at me in horror like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU IDIOT? I NEED A GOLDFISH LIKE I NEED A HOLE IN THE HEAD.” So I was like “just kidding!” and the kid started crying. It was terrible.

      April 5, 2012
  2. You SHOULD get Louise! Don’t animals do better in pairs? Thunder could really use an animal friend in the house. And when I say in the house, I mean: let Louise sleep in your bed. It would be AWESOME.

    April 5, 2012
    • Except that Louise poops like it’s going out of style (which it never will). So I’d need a tarp or some plastic sheets or something. Do they make plastic sheets for potty-training children? Or do parents these days just use tarps?

      April 5, 2012
  3. And also, that bread-cheese-mushroom-thyme concoction is ROCKING MY WORLD.

    (Okay. I’m done with the all-caps. Promise.)

    April 5, 2012
  4. Yum – mushrooms are my favorite fungus LOL
    BTW I am totally behind you on the chicken – it would be a shame to waste all that research…

    April 5, 2012
    • Shelley, the scary-and-possibly-poisonous mushrooms have started growing in our back yard again. So I figured I should cook good (store-bought) mushrooms now, before I am forced to give mushrooms a bad rap again!

      April 5, 2012
      • Maybe you also need a pig to help you search for truffles in your back yard – can ‘t imagine Scott would have any objection to that >8)

        April 5, 2012
        • Scott totally wants a pot-bellied pig, but then we got Thunder and she’s kind of half pot-bellied pig anyway, so he’s content now. Wouldn’t it be nice to have truffles in the back yard? We’d be rolling in cash. Sigh.

          April 5, 2012
          • he is ok with a pig but not sure about chickens??? Crazy LOL

            April 9, 2012
  5. Carolina #

    I’ve been asking Tom for a chicken for the last 4+ years. That’s all I ask evey X mas, valentines, birthday, Martin Luther King day, lawyer day, but I’m still waiting. he is toooooo abal about zoning laws , Boooooooooooooo!!!!

    let me know if you find a loophole to the law somewhere! Love and miss you!

    c

    April 5, 2012
  6. HOLY CRAP just discovered your blog. LOVE. IT. And I need Thunder. I think that she would get along SPLEN-DED-LY with my great dane. He also sits with shoes. And stuffed animals. And throws the stuffed animals for himself, but I’ve yet to catch that on tape! One day I will leave the video camera on in the house for him to be caught on camera…..

    Anyways. Welcome to ‘Bama.

    April 5, 2012
    • Ruthie, hi! I’m so glad we’re in touch. I see you live in Birmingham! I’m in Huntsville. I love it here so far. I’m going to email you for recommendations next time I go to Birmingham and need a good place to grab dinner.

      Thunder loves great danes– there’s one who sits behind the check-in counter at our vet’s office, and Thunder always tries to get in there so she can play. When I still lived in New York, one of her favorite dogs at the dog park was a french mastiff. She’s ridiculous.

      I’d love to see your guy throw toys for himself–I bet that’s adorable.

      Talk to you soon, and thanks for the kind words!

      April 5, 2012
      • Please do! We have great places to eat….

        That’s funny, because Trouble ONLY likes small dogs. i think he thinks they are his play toys! or something…….

        April 6, 2012
  7. Brooke (Crackers on the Couch) #

    We want chickens, too. And when I say “we” I mean “I”. I even went to a seminar about it last year and asked questions like, “Am I crazy to want chickens when we regularly have coyotes run through our back yard and also the driveway and also occasionally scare our cats so badly the run away and never come back?” She tried really hard not to look at me like I was crazy as she explained the benefits of proper fencing…

    April 5, 2012
    • Brooke, that’s so cool. You should do it! We have coyotes around here too. Downtown, it’s owls, hawks and racoons that are the main problem, but up on the mountain near us, coyotes and foxes have gotten them too. Sounds like you know this already, but the people I talked to have joined their coops up to an area with wire netting around it so that the chickens can snack and walk around a little outside their coop in safety. Then they let the birds roam around in the yard when they’re home. Someone said that coyotes only hunt at night unless it’s an reject male coyote (like not an alpha male) who has to hunt during the day so he doesn’t get beaten up by the alpha-dudes. The chickens basically put themselves to bed at dusk, so as long as the coop was enclosed in chicken wire, it could work, right?

      But wow, by the way, coyotes running through the back yard? That’s legit.

      April 5, 2012
      • Just made the mushrooms on brioche. Holy crud that’s good stuff. My favorite part of brunch this morning (which also included my favorite scones of all time, so that’s saying a lot!) Thanks!

        April 8, 2012
  8. This is awesome! Thanks for the giggles that I really really needed! I love Julia Child too, this dish made me hungry :) I make Julia’s dry herb marinaded pork tenderloin with loads of garlic. Yummy. http://midnitechef.wordpress.com/2011/12/19/roast-pork-tenderloin-with-green-beans-and-pan-gravy/

    April 5, 2012
    • Oh I am so glad you posted the link here–I just want to spoon some pan gravy over everything now. And I love the squeakiness of green beans, too- I like how you threw that in there.

      April 5, 2012
  9. Lisa #

    Here in Charlottesville, VA, we have an organization named “Charlottesville League of Urban Chicken-Keepers” – C.L.U.C.K. for short. I’m thinking of joining just beacuse the acronym is so amazing. But you make a pretty good case for keeping chickens!

    April 5, 2012
    • Lisa, do you remember when they lifted the ban on mini-goats in Charlottesville a few years ago? I was so excited. Not that I was in a position to get one– I was living in NY and I was pretty sure my parents would be royally angry if I got them a pet goat one weekend and then jetted back North. But they are so cute! And they mow your lawn for you!

      I’ve heard of CLUCK around here, too– I think Chattanooga might also be using the acronym or something. It’s too good to pass up!

      April 5, 2012
      • Lisa #

        Of course I remember the mini-goats! But my HOA immediately created an addendum to our by-laws that prohibited them in our neighborhood; much to my chagrin. Interestingly, the same HOA reversed its anti-goat stance when it came time to handle the massive kudzu invasion. In fact, the whole neighborhood showed up to watch when they hired “The Goat Busters” (seriously) to eat the vines and roos. After trying multiple rounds of chemical and physical eradication strategies (in multiple years), we were kudzu-free after 30 goats and 2 goat-herding dogs spent 36 hours doing what goats do best. Can you do a goat post?

        http://www.vagoatbusters.com/About_Us.html

        April 10, 2012
  10. Devry #

    This blog brightens my day as I belly laugh from my corner of the office. Thanks for using your God-given gift to bring lots of laugher to others :)

    April 5, 2012
    • Thank you so much, Devry. Your comment made me smile, which means you more than returned the favor. :) Have a good rest of your day!

      April 5, 2012
  11. Our homeowners’ association won’t allow us to keep chickens or goats. Seriously. The goat would allow my hubbie to lounge on the porch on spring weekends. No mowing! Poor us. There’s a chicken out there somewhere in the world, waiting to be born (like, later on, in the future) so you can have an outdoor butler. Maybe it’s one of those bucket list items.

    April 5, 2012
    • You know, Anne, this reminds me: At what point am I actually going to get a bucket, write my bucket list things on little strips of paper, and throw them in there? And at what point am I going to start doing a drum-roll and pulling out one of the slips of paper every now and then? I’m just worried that I’m going to be 70 and I’m going to have to travel around the world and get a chicken in the same year. Because WHO IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF LOUISE when I’m on the Orient Express?!?

      April 5, 2012
      • I’ve heard that the Orient Express is high style but very open-minded. I will be in the car next to yours with my goat and hang-gliding apparatus (for the next item on my bucket list).

        April 5, 2012
  12. Louise is quite pretty. I’m going through a similar situation in my house, except I’m having to play the role of Scott and be the buzzkill/adult person. My 36-year-old boyfriend has been insisting we get a kangaroo since we returned from our vacation in Australia. Unfortunately, the law is letting me down in my arguments — they don’t specifically name kangaroos as a forbidden pet, ergo, my boyfriend thinks we can have one. It’s the type of political maneuvering and loophole exploiting you rarely see outside of a courtroom or Congress. So on this one, I have to cheer Scott on.

    April 5, 2012
    • Are kangaroos marsupials or whatever? Maybe there’s an entire SECTION on marsupials? Maybe there’s an import ban on marsupials? Maybe you can just virtually adopt one from the Bronx Zoo! I’m here to help.

      I always thought that wombats were cool creatures. You could probably have one of those, because they just burrow, I think, and are pretty chill. They’re like small, land-based manatees. Maybe that’s a good compromise.

      April 5, 2012
      • I wasn’t trying to give you additional ideas. Tell Scott I’m sorry.

        April 5, 2012
  13. Amy #

    I think thunder is chewing on that lace because it’s probably boring to eat dog food day after day. He’d prob rather have that brioche though…it looks amazing. What a great combo!

    April 5, 2012
    • Yes, either Thunder is bored with her dog food, or she licked my leg before chewing on the shoe. I have been putting this numbing solarcaine stuff on my ankles because the mosquitoes are back and have bitten my legs up. I got some of the gel in my mouth yesterday and my mouth was numb for a good ten minutes.

      ANYHOO–long story, but maybe that’s what happened to her.

      April 5, 2012
  14. Liz #

    You should definitely get chickens! We have 4–Liz Jr., Barred Rock Obama, Lady Cluckerpants, and Dame Fluffernutter. They keep us extremely entertained, plus supply plenty of eggs and fertilizer (aka chicken poop).

    April 5, 2012
    • Barred Rock Obama!! I LOVE IT!!!! You should probably send a picture of her to the White House press department. It’s precisely that sort of funniness that actually gets through, right?

      As you can guess from the photos, Barred Rocks are my favorites! I also like black austrolorps, because of the emerald sheen to their feathers. I am going to hit you up for guidance one day when we actually get some (Scott says this will never happen but he needs an attitude adjustment.)

      April 5, 2012
  15. Ha! Loved this post and I think you will be a famous chicken journalist someday! No one deserves it more than you! NO ONE!

    April 5, 2012
    • Linda, the day I become a famous chicken journalist, I am going to give you a big sloppy shout-out in my acceptance speech. xo

      April 5, 2012
  16. Gorgeous food and how exciting being the local chicken journalist, World famous maybe, Oh and I must try that POKE technique on Our John.. ! awesome.. c

    April 5, 2012
    • Celia, nothing sounds more exciting than your adventures getting to know Kupa the peacock. I just love reading about him. Your pictures from the market, and of him in his nesting box, and of the asparagus in that lovely container are just so fun to look at!

      April 5, 2012
  17. sarah #

    I can see no reason this would violate your lease. The chicken will be outside. And when you build it’s coop and cage you will be improving the property. Plus the yard will be in great shape because you will be providing fertilizer.
    And eventually you will have so much fertilizer you will want to put in raised gardens. Yet another improved structure.
    I can’t see where this could go wrong. But don’t get Louise, she looks rude. You have to find a hen who isn’t uppity and is kind about you harvesting her eggs, just trust me here.

    April 5, 2012
    • She does look a little aggressive, doesn’t she? She also laid a double-yolked egg when I met her, so it’s possible that she’s an obnoxious over-achiever. Maybe I do want a hen who’s a little more chill.

      Thank you for talking through this with me. I’m probably going to write your comment on my palm and use it as a reference when I’m arguing with Scott about this again later.

      April 5, 2012
  18. SillyRnti #

    I’m in the opposite situation. My hus wants chickens and I say no. I know we’re living in the south and we’re slightly red-necky (in the fun, trashy way) but having chickens is too country for me. I shudder at the thought of the mess and the smell. Besides, we have 2 dogs and 2 cats. Adding fowl would take us one step closer to a petting zoo.

    I was afraid that your recipe might center on one of Louise’s dearly departed relatives. I admire your restraint. :)

    April 5, 2012
    • It’s definitely a commitment, that’s for sure. I thought the smell was going to be bad, but seriously– I smelled not a THING at any of the chicken coops I visited. Not a THING. The people I visited had between 3 and 4 birds each and it seemed that so long as they cleaned up after them (raked out the area near the coop, etc.) it was totally fine. I was shocked. That said, there is the raking and cleaning-up-after part that I don’t think I’d be willing to do at this point. Those birds poop. Constantly. So I see what you’re saying. :)

      April 5, 2012
  19. Absolutely love everything about this post. I want a chicken tractor myself, but Mot said, “No, next we would have coyotes and chicken hawks circling us.”

    April 5, 2012
    • I’m so glad you liked it!

      Yeah, I saw a hawk in our back yard in the middle of the city a few weeks ago. I would not want to be a chicken and come face to face with that thing–that is one intense bird.

      April 5, 2012
  20. Ginger Cobl #

    You totally need Louise, and I know just where you can get her from, plus some friends for her to hang out with! Bring Scott over and I’m sure Tammy, Tillie, Ruby, and Emma-Jean can help win him over. He just needs to meet some really cool “chicks”!

    April 5, 2012
    • Yes, Ginger, yes! Scott doesn’t know what he’s talking about because he hasn’t yet had the joy of feeding the Cobl Girls grapes. I’d *love* to bring him by, perhaps after your new additions have settled in! That garden of yours is going to take a hit with eight chickens waddling about. :)

      Thanks for making my week so awesome. Talk soon!

      April 5, 2012
  21. I’d love to read your article. We just got six chicks – they’re two weeks old – and I know NOTHING about how to raise chickens! I guess the plan is just to wing it. Scratch that – that was way too cheesy! The plan is to figure it out as we go. Loved your photos.

    April 5, 2012
    • Hi, Mandy! I’ll totally send it once it’s published.

      That’s so exciting that you just got some chicks! What kind are they? You probably know this already, but apparently Mother Earth is a great on-line resource, as is http://www.backyardchickens.com/.

      Anyway, I know you’re fine and will do great at raising chickens, but seriously if anything goes awry, shoot me an email and I’ll put you in touch with my new friends, the chicken experts!

      I am so jealous. Is it fun?

      April 5, 2012
      • Well, right now they are still inside our garage where we have a heat lamp for them. I can’t believe how fast they grow! They have doubled in size in two weeks. I’m not sure what kind they are – some friends of ours have chickens, and these were the chicks they hatched this year. I’ll check out the resources you suggested! And I know who to go to when I have questions. I think our next step is building the coop, which should be really fun. Thanks!

        April 6, 2012
  22. giftsofserendipity #

    Ah yes Thunder & Louise – I have a feeling that this little movie may end up almost like its big sister version….except it would wouldn’t be the main characters driving over a cliff at the end if you get my drift.

    Happy days to all in the Eggton household.
    Have to scoot as I have a hankering for scrambled eggs…mmmmm.

    April 5, 2012
    • Yes, Thunder & Louise might flop at the box office, but to a special few of us, it will be the cult classic we’ve waiting for.

      Happy days to you as well! I, too, have had a hankering for eggs of late. People have been so generous with the fresh eggs in the past two weeks. I still have some green ones in the fridge. I must get some ham to scramble them with.

      April 5, 2012
  23. 1. I love this post.
    2. I want to steal Thunder. Seriously!
    3. I truly enjoy reading your blog!

    April 5, 2012
    • Why thank you so much! I’m glad you liked the post because I had a terrible bout of writer’s block beforehand. Bleh.

      Thunder says hi. :)

      April 5, 2012
  24. Get Louise! Get Louise! If only for the pure-D fun of watching Thunder figure her out!

    April 5, 2012
    • I know– Thunder meeting Louise for the first time would be nuts. She might be a little too curious for her own good, and those chickens have some powerful legs on them!

      April 5, 2012
  25. Chicken journalism is so hard to break into. You’re on your way, kid!

    April 5, 2012
    • You know what they say about chicken journalism: it’s a tough egg to crack, Krisann.

      BAH DAP CH!!

      April 5, 2012
  26. a #

    One of my coworkers and his wife keep chickens. The thing is, there’s always something wrong with one of the chickens (too aggressive, got some chicken respiratory disease that will infect them all, gave him the side eye, flew up on top of the coop, etc.), and then it gets sent to “freezer camp.” I suspect that keeping chickens is more difficult than it appears. But it might keep your freezer stocked full of delicious meal ideas.

    The mushrooms look so delicious! I wish I could eat that right now! Apparently, your shoelace is also delicious…

    April 5, 2012
    • About half the people I talked to had sent a chicken or two to freezer camp because of stuff like this–typically, it was a rooster who was mean as hell. Sounds like you need to get yourself invited to your coworker’s house for dinner. Yum. :)

      April 7, 2012
  27. Alexis #

    A friend of a friend bought a house in Palo Alto with a beautiful chicken coop in the back yard – some real deal construction. She got all excited, because you can have chickens here if the neighbors sign off on it – major chicken architecture indicates approval, no? But when they were all moved in, her neighbor was all, “I changed my mind.” Talk about a jerk.

    I have spent some serious time pondering whether a chicken coop would fit on my 4′ x 4′ balcony. I’ve got vertical space, it would be a feather sky-scraper. A fly-scraper? (And yes, I know chickens don’t fly.)

    April 5, 2012
    • Oh no! That is so annoying. If I were in her position, I’d probably start wooing the neighbor with coffee cakes and margaritas (separately) and eventually I’s end up groveling on the neighbor’s front door in the rain, making a complete ass of myself. It sounds like your friend is more classy.

      April 7, 2012
  28. Orn #

    Yes, get Louise… and while you are contemplating having her live in the house check out chicken diapers… they are a real thing.

    April 6, 2012
    • Orn, those chicken diapers freak me out. I mean, wow. Boy, are they disturbing.

      April 7, 2012
  29. I would love to own chickens. Alas. 3rd floor apartment + 2 cats = not the friendliest chicken environment.

    April 6, 2012
    • Hmmmm…. yes that would be tough. That reminds me of one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. I posted it around Christmastime– it’s a (made-up) story about a guy whose girlfriend actually gets him the birds from the 12 days of Christmas and he has to keep them in his tiny apartment. If you haven’t read it, give it a shot because it’s HILARIOUS.

      http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-twelve-days-of-christmas

      April 7, 2012
  30. Amy #

    I have chickens too! Snazzy, Nicki, and Mabel all live in my backyard and provide me with eggs, entertainment, and never ending almost heart attacks when they all disappear under a bush and I think a hawk has eaten them! I even blog about my chickie girls (and some other stuff too).

    April 6, 2012
    • That’s so exciting! Are the eggs delicious? I love that you posted a video of the chicken dance for Arrested Development with the note “has anyone in this family actually seena chicken?” I love Arrested Development. I thought of the chicken dance too when I was hanging out with chickens last week. The sounds they make are definitely not the same, are they?!

      April 7, 2012
  31. Thunder and Lousie would make a beautiful pair of companions, but having had one look at Louise, I think she would definitely be ruling the roost (oh, hahahaha). She looks like a dominatrix chick to me! Thunder might need therapy for being bullied by a chicken – that can really damage doggie self esteem.

    On another note, the brioche looks amazing. I need to quit my job (seriously, I’m working on it) so I can make bread like this. Topped with the goat cheese and mushrooms, well OMG I want some of that on my plate, right now!

    April 6, 2012
    • She does look a little. . . combative, you’re right! But she ate out of my hand with no problems and she was nice to her two fellow backyard chickens when I met her. (Truth be told, she ate leftover chicken casserole out of my hand. It was weird.) But yeah. . . Thunder might be too curious when it comes to interacting with the chickens. She’d try to, like, PLAY with them, which could get pretty weird pretty fast.

      Well, in the meantime–before you quit your job–you could definitely make the mushrooms, and just put them on bread from the store or a bakery! Pretty darn good anyway you eat it. Have a good weekend!

      April 7, 2012
      • Buying the bread sounds like a good plan! I had Easter Dinner here yesterday for the whole family (now I can’t afford to quit my job) and today I’m taking a break from the kitchen! Except I’ll probably sneak in there and make something or other. But not chicken, in honour of Louise.

        April 7, 2012
  32. I think all Scott needs is a little perspective, right? Right. My father-in-law kept bees and a goat in the backyard of a semi-detached house (in England). That’s like….WAY worse than doing it in the ‘burbs. Maybe if you tell him that, he’ll realize the chicken isn’t so bad. And it means he could have eggs any way he likes them every single morning.

    April 6, 2012
    • Yes, thank you for the story– super helpful. I will tell him all about your father-in-law. I am jealous that he kept bees. I wasn’t a honey person until this year and now I’m getting to be obsessed with it.

      It’s funny you mention goats because Scott says I can have a chicken after he gets a goat. He reeeeeally wants one because he held a 2-day old baby goat last November and he fell in love with it. I wrote about it here: http://eggton.com/2011/11/27/the-time-i-was-hypnotized-by-a-goat-plus-herb-bread/

      It was a disaster. He bugged me about baby goats for weeks, and then we found out that we’re not able to have them in the city. Thank goodness, for now.

      April 7, 2012
  33. Miss. Zoe #

    I was literally laughing out loud that entire post. I would love to own my own chickens! They’re very good at keeping pest away from your garden!

    April 6, 2012
    • Yes! They totally are. I heard they eat all sorts of bugs and things. Although those ladies have POWERFUL feet. I saw some digging around in a garden for worms and things and they were flinging that dirt half-way across the yard. So when you and I get chickens, Miss Zoe, we should probably start it with little plants already growing, instead of seeds. I’ve given it some thought and that’s what I’ve decided.

      Thanks for the kind words–this whole chicken thing has been a hoot!

      April 7, 2012
  34. aliciacooksnbooks #

    This is the funniest thing I’ve read all week. I love your blogs, they crack me up.

    April 6, 2012
    • Oh horray! Very kind of you to say, Alicia. Thank you.

      April 7, 2012
  35. I have a chicken story that isn’t really about a chicken:

    When I was five, my grandma and I were having a picnic outside when I was brutally attacked by a rooster. I’m fine, no scars, no eyeballs lost, BUT if you picture a five-year-old flailing her arms around, screaming and trying to get a pissed off rooster off her back, I’m sure you will laugh. At least a little.

    My grandpa totally killed that rooster, by the way. Only because it was the spawn of Satan.

    I still totally dig chickens though.

    April 7, 2012
    • Amanda, This sounds worse than the time my friend swallowed a bumble bee that had flown into her can of soda at a picnic when we were kids. Or maybe it’s not AS bad, but it still sucks. I have heard just terrible things about roosters. They’re so mean! So mean. And they bother the lady chickens in a big way. And by that I mean they are way worse than the men who leer at you in bars. Ugh. I hate them.

      April 7, 2012
  36. When I lived in a Houston, I had 2 mallard duck chicks that began life swimming in the Doberman’s water bowl. After they grew into Big Ducks, they climbed all over Doberman. I think they must have been scratching where he itched. He would nudge them or tip them off when he’d had enough. Doberman also had his own black kitty that slept on him; sometimes it looked like Doberman had 2 green eyes in the middle of his body. Both Doberman and Big Ducks went to Animal Heaven a number of years ago. Now that I live on the outskirts of Cville, the HOA prevents The Mad Queen from having a chicken. This makes The Mad Queen very, very sad.

    April 9, 2012
  37. First and foremost: I want/need/deserve that lunch. Maybe Friday. Maybe in the morning tomorrow. Either way, it has to be asafp.

    Secondly: my partner and I want chickens (she has experience with them, where as the closest I’ve ever gotten has been a petting zoo when I was 9). Pastel eggs totally exist and are TOTALLY awesome. Also, I don’t care what anyone says: fresh farm/backyard eggs are the cat’s pajamas. Should cats WEAR pajamas.

    April 11, 2012
  38. We have 25 chickens, including two Americanas that we named Abe Lincoln because of the ruff of black feathers under their necks. It always makes me giggle when I someone says “you have a chick that lays green eggs?” and I get to say “yep, Abe Lincoln lays green eggs for us.” And, I must say, they make *excellent* butlers.

    April 15, 2012

{Leave a Note}

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s