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Home Range

If you’re a dog, getting sprayed by a skunk probably isn’t a big deal.  But if you’re a dog owner and it’s 2 in the morning and this is the second time this week, well. . . you might find yourself standing at the kitchen sink in your pajamas yelling WHY GOD, WHY at the ceiling.

Seymour got sprayed in the face this time, probably because he’s been chasing the skunk around like it’s giving away free pizza.  We didn’t see it happen but we could tell he got blitzed on the head because when he came inside he started rubbing his ears with his paws.  Then he shoved his face into the couch cushions.  Then he smooshed his nose to the wall and ran down the hallway like he was snorting a fabulous 20-foot line of cocaine.

Scott corralled him into the bathtub while I mixed together hydrogen peroxide and baking soda.  Last time we dumped the mixture all over him, but since his face was ground zero this time we had to worry about getting it in his eyes.  We basically had to dribble it onto his nose and ears and rub it in with our fingertips, like we worked at an upscale spa and Seymour had a Groupon for a facial.  He didn’t look the least bit remorseful while we worked.  He just sat there patiently with his eyes closed, probably thinking to himself that if we spent a little extra time massaging his ears, he’d give us a good review on Yelp.

popsicles 1I read the Wikipedia page for skunks this morning, and it does not bode well.  The skunk is not going to migrate to Florida for the winter like I was hoping.

popsicles 2In fact, it’s not going anywhere.  Skunks have “home ranges,” apparently.  They pick a spot .7 miles wide and stay there, which means we probably haven’t smelled the last of it.

popsicles 3My home range has been within .7 feet of my refrigerator lately.  There’s just so much good stuff around right now–fresh corn and tomatoes, peaches, zucchini bread. . .

Popsicles. . .

popsicles 4I found some popsicle molds at that hardware store for a dollar last weekend and have been filling them up with juice.  I’ve also been throwing a gummy worm in there.  At the farmer’s market in our town in Alabama, there was a lady who sold great apple-flavored popsicles with gummy worms in them.  I used to slurp them while I sold goat cheese.

Here’s what you do to make an Apple Popsicle With A Worm In It:  Buy a can of frozen juice.  (I use apple-raspberry.)  Make a strong version of the juice.  Like, if it says to add 3 cans of water, just add 2.  Put a gummy worm in the mold and then fill it with the juice.  Freeze it until it’s ready.  Run the mold under warm water for 10 seconds if you have a hard time getting the pops out.

popsicle 5Eat one before your next skunking.

Seymour 9.6